A Slovak lady whom I’ve come to respect as someone who expresses her opinons in a nuanced and thoughtful way wrote the following comment related to flirting:
Flirting is an interesting topic but I am not sure if it actually exists here in Slovakia. 😀 What I’ve noticed is that when a Slovak man likes a woman, he usually tries to be funny around her in a kind of silly, childish way and if she positively responds to his jokes it’s like a signal that she likes him. When it happens that a guy wants to flirt with me (and in that case it’s usually not a Slovak), I find it oddly amusing as it feels so uncommon.
An an other Slovak lady confirms this and writes us:
Well my experience is, even when you’re impeccably dressed and look like an ancient godess, they never say anything
Over the years I have heard this recurring complaint from Slovak women: ‘Slovak guys only stare at you, they never approach you’
One of the ladies writes:
I believe men here are afraid to express their feelings because women are often cruel. They are afraid of losing their balls.
I have never seen a Slovak guy effectively flirt with a woman. Not once. I’ve actually never even seen a Slovak guy trying to express interest in a woman in any direct way. Their seduction strategy seems to consists of just staying near the woman they want long enough and to somehow stumble into a relationship with her, just from being always around her. Many fall into the notorious friendzone trap. Others seem to get together at parties when everyone is drunk and the usual inhibitions are gone.
I can’t imagine Slovak guys doing ‘day game’, meaning approaching attractive women in broad day light in every day settings and asking them out. In their defence: Slovak women are so afraid of strangers that on the street they will probably brush you off far faster than in almost any other European country. One night stands are a social taboo. The morals of this culture are repressive. It’s like the sexual revolution of the sixties skipped this country. Lots of Slovak women don’t use birth control. All the Belgian women I have dated took the pill. None of the Slovak women I have dated were on the pill. (Probably a good thing, because the pill is not healthy and the use of the pill polutes our water supply with female hormones.)
Slovak women become a lot different once you have a reason to interact with them. All the receptionists I meet smile at me with the kind of smile that feels like a warm bed, an ocean of charming goodness to drown yourself in. On the street they look like cold-hearted bitches. If this is to scare off sleezebags then it’s certainly an effective strategy.
Once a Slovak woman allows me into her personal space they are like angels, they are like a shot of heroine. They are incredibly sweet, interested, kind, appreciate the attention you give them, like to share, and will even share intimate details about sex as soon as they feel comfortable around you. It’s just that out on the street they look like they are going to shoot you or ride you over with the giant cars so many of them drive around in.
Women in general do wear bitch shields so they won’t be bothered by obnoxious, disrespectul guys. It can be very hard for nice guys to break through those shields.
Slovak women are also quite brutal on dating apps like Tinder and also on the street and other public spaces. They have so many guys to choose from that they become very dismissive and scan super fast. One message they don’t like and you’re out. But if you break through their bitch shields they are very willing to meet. You just need to get your foot in the door. And yes, displaying status combined with being friendly helps. I know I always get criticized for saying women are attracted to women with power and status, but can we really deny this? I mean, even Hitler, not exactly an adonis, had throngs of women screaming for him.
Since most Slovak women are starving for real attention, not just the eternal shallow compliments on their looks, they are super grateful when you surprise them with small gifts and tokens of affection that show you have truly SEEN her. Signs you have seen past her good looks to what’s going on inside. Do that for a Slovak woman and at the very least you will win her deep platonic affection. Maybe this is why Slovak women try so hard to look good, they crave attention from a great guy, but not for their looks. At the same time they become more intimidating by looking so good. It is a vicious circle.
What I also notice is how very critical Slovak guys are about women’s looks. Do you know why? Often nothing at all is wrong with those women. They just try to find faults with them so they won’t feel the need to approach her. If they can decide she’s not worth it they don’t need to feel like cowards for not trying to get in touch with her. That’s really what it is. Cowardice.
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My brain is literally on fire. Of course it is metaphor. Im just trying to think over all my relations and dates if there was any kind of flirt.
It wasnt. And I count also foreign guys. I dated 4 of them, being in relation with two.
Rest of guys were slovaks.
This is not about slovak men, about all generally. Or it is about me. Well maybe this is reason.
Only kind of “flirt” and I really wouldnt call it flirt, it just contained few features from Wolfie article I ve got from random drunken guys when I was outside in pub with ladies. Thinking how amazed Im going to be from his silly speech, silly attitude and of course sexistic jokes. Except of this, Im ultra alergic on alcoholic and cigarette smell. So these things never went good with me.
Those not drunken guys, usually dont speak to me directly, but starting over messanger or somehow sms. But usual flirt I dont think I ve got.
I think nowadays guys are more brave with chating over medias and not really face to face. Women arent that cruel, so guys dont need to be scared of losing balls, just stupid jokes, bragging or even arrogant attitude isnt best how to charm us.
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And what would be a good way to initiate a conversation with a woman you want more with?
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Oh wait, does count this? Happened actually yesterday. Was in gym and exercizing what my trainer said me, when he just started to come more often around me and randomly asking me questions. Then he came a bit closer and said me how amazing I smell and that he could stand all hours next to me? He didnt say it in this pervert tone, like it may sound, just normally. But it just made me speechless, I usually really dont know what to say on these things, max like Thank you.
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That has flirting written all over it, my dear 🙂 he likes you
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So maybe they flirt, but we dont notice it.
Remember when you linked me video of guy asking number from girls? That would go definitely wrong with me, even if he would offer me some rose with it.
What could be good start? Hardest is first sentences I would say. Like how to come closer to woman, man sees somewhere. With me is easy, I usually hold book and read, or listen music. Even question like ” can you help me with this adress etc” with nice smile, can start convo.
Depends on situation. But smile, this honest one is always good start.
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I think the best opening move is to ask her name and smile. I used to be able to do it, talk to girls I had never met before. Sometimes I even ended up in bed with them. Once I ended dating a sister of a girl I had randomly approached. But I don’t have the self-confidence nor the vitality I had back then.
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Oh, and after a short chat I always asked if they wanted to do something fun next week. They always said: it depends what.
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Do handsome men have the same difficulties?
Janice
“What a wonderful world it would be if people had hearts like dogs.”
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Nice quote. Handsome men can have the same problems, of course. Handsome guys don’t even need to develop flirtatious skills as women will find ways to get into contact with them. When I was younger I just had to go out and women would approach me, push me in corners, dive naked into my bed unannounced, show up at my door step with a bag full of booze, and so on
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Not sure if Slovak women are the reason why Slovak men generally do not flirt. But it’s true that climate here is not the best for flirting. Guys usually don’t know ‘how to’ and women are on the alert.
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Like I said in the post, once past the very hard, almost paranoid ‘everyone who talks to me is a potential rapist’ phase, it’s quite easy to become very intimate with a Slovak woman, as long as you give her genuine attention and are original in your conversations. But to prove you’re not a murdering raging rapist and evil fetishist can be quite tricky, especially if you have no ‘valid’ reason to talk to her. It’s like you need an excuse to be in touch.
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Everything I’ve read here is both true and tried. In summary, too high of expectations from the female side and let’s be real lots of men have been burned by women here. The comparison of money, car size and ego let’s us men know sometimes women are not interested in US but what can be done for them. Blatantly stated.
Yes, they look good in what they wear and they know how to dress up aesthetically to be appealing. I’m in my fifties and I don’t look like a fifty-year old, balding, short, pudgy, no-neck brute. Hyper-masculine, loud fake deep voice speaking but rather well-dressed and groomed maybe too groomed, but the attention I get is overwhelming. But I am a foreigner. For me the turn off is knowing they appear only to be interested in me because I am different. Novelty. Curiosity. That wears off quickly.
Is it possible that too many people are living in a traditional mind-set of what the opposite gender should do? Things are simply changing.
I shared with a co-worker that a young lady asked ME out on a date; she replied with such shock that it shocked me. My response to her was. Yveta, this is 2018. In what era is your mind?
A number of my male friends here do not want a girlfriend, per se because they are lonely, but rather because their males friends pressure them or put the ‘gay’ rumor on them. And I have seen some cringe-worthy approaches of men to women here-I have even cringed.
Lastly, as a man I will never approach a woman anyplace without some sort of an open energy that I may approach. A friendly half-smile will do. A walking mannequin is not enough for me. There are a few of my friends, couples and marriages I feel are together out of pity or appearance to present normality.
On the flip-side there are some highly educated women here and perhaps men are intimidated more by their insufficient intellect to converse not just flirt. Flirting might open a door of communication, but to be invited inside the room requires articulation, vocabulary and diction. A cool one-liner can be found on urban dictionary.
Just my take.
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Damn interesting addition, I will respond when am done teaching tonight
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