Here is how he proposed:

(and I apologize if I get some of the details wrong, but am trying my best to remember it right)

He took her to a romantic spot near the river in London. Out of nowhere a man appeared and handed her a big bouquet. A group appeared and sang a song for her, acapella, he had food from a restaurant delivered to them on the spot and when she thought it was all over, it wasn’t, and a carriage with white horses appeared and took them to all the best sights London had to offer.

After that they head over to her parents.

He was hoping to see excited faces, but instead their faces expressed concern.

‘What happened to your face?’ they asked his soon to be wife.

It turned out she had an allergy to horses.

It got him thinking.

Did the way he proposed to her reflect how well he knew his future bride?


He obviously hadn’t know she was allergic to horses.

That was clue number one.

But he also had to conclude that akapella songs are not really his wife’s biggest passion. Nor does she necessarily need to be seen by all of London while riding in a carriage. Nor does she swoon at the sight of flowers.

Of all the things he arranged the food was probably the thing that she could have liked the most. She loves food.

‘could have’, because… having it delivered there where they were made sure the food arrived cold. So could she enjoy the food? Not really.

Jay discovered he had planned the proposal based on what he thought was romantic and the things to do. Based on how he was culturally molded by both Hollywood and Bollywood.

He realized he had forgotten to ask himself the most obvious question.

What would his girlfriend actually appreciate the most?

The whole proposal would have looked VERY different.

For me, what he is trying to say, is this: we don’t try hard enough to get to know our partner and allow ourselves to be driven by what our culture has dictated we should find romantic.

This really hit me.

Since being aware of this I am trying much more to interact with Zuzana based on what SHE might like and not on what I have been taught all my life women should like.

Hoping this story will impact you as profoundly as it has impacted me.

Much love,