This is a reaction we got on one of our articles on Slovak guys. We’ve left it unedited.
‘In Slovakia you could hardly ever live in a fairytale! Your man won’t sweat a little to make you a surprise, if he feels he has to buy you flowers he will spend the smallest amount of money possible and pick a flower in the closest flower shop that there is. Not once he gets you your favourite ones. Most of the time he is happy when you take care of everything because he is way too comfortable to take care of anything, he tries to look sweet and nice, because he knows guys who are sweet and nice get more credit amongst older generations. And after all you feel like you are wasting your free time with him, because there’s nothing he likes doing a lot. And then you get angry because you want to live fully your day every day, you want to make a progress in whatever field you choose. You think to yourself this is still better I could ever hope for, you just need to accept you are the one to take care of everything, you will not have any romance in your life, no romantic surprises, everything will be as you know it will be. But some evenings you get very sad about it and end up wondering, could it be any different, what if there is someone with whom I would feel different, what if those tales are not fairytales? And in case you complain about something you are called golddigger. And only thing you want is to get something what shows the guy really knows you and really spent some time searching for it
I especially like the part about playing the nice guy to score credit with older people. She’s basically complaining that her guy isn’t authentic.
What I notice around here is that lots of guys seem to stick to a very narrow pattern about what it means to be a guy. There’s little spontaneity and they don’t try to really get to know a woman.
One of my students, a stunning 36 year old, says her husband always gets her practical gifts, like mixers or a washing machine. She would prefer flowers or a book.
The sad thing is that it’s really not rocket science to give a woman an unforgettable day… So you would have to conclude that they simply don’t care enough…
My mental health blog. A public diary trying to make sense of the world 
They sound pretty worthless.
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Well, both slovak and czech men are not famous for being tender, nice man. The opposite, everyone recognize them to be rough to the point they seem almost impolite.
Reality is that the older generations grew them like this, most of them. And this is also why women often think this is absolutely normal… men “are” simply like that.
Not my slovak wife, luckily. She chose an italian man, and she’s as happy as she could be 😉
Moral of the story? Don’t stick to your country. Try and try until you feel happy, never compromise.
Why? Because if you’ll compromise, you’ll simply put more fuel on the fire. If those men find a woman, they’ll simply never learn…
(On the same page, I had to find a slovak girl to be finally happy, because italian ones were… ehm… let’s not get deep into this topic)
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Interesting, I had never heard this perspective before!
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It seems to be a general complaint around here. No wonder Slovak women marry foreigners, but foreigners rarely marry Slovak men
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I only know one Slovak girl and yes, she married an Australian man I think. I’ll have to look into it more 🙂
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I actually agree with this answer of slovak woman. But better question is, why would slovak or any other woman go into relation like this, when its definitely not that she was looking for. If woman is deeply romantic, why ending with macho like man or other way around? Isnt it magical circle that we always complain about what we choosed after some time? Are we that conservative that we refuse any change in love life after some time? This topic is actually endless well of opinions, since you can look on it from many ways.
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I can tell you more about this particular case. The lady in question is scared to break up with him, because her mother really likes him, and she adores her mother and doesn’t want to cause her sadness. However, this idea exists mostly in her head. I think her mother would easily survive their break-up 🙂 I think she’s just very afraid of being alone and is afraid that maybe this is the best she can get
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This i was trying to point out. Most of women after some time in relation or in marriage arent satisfied with their situation, but not really looking for drastical change because they are scared, afraid of coming out of comfortable used zone they are. So they just give up on it and complain about it in this way. But honestly how hard is to do not be blind and just suprise own woman by something unexpected and nice from time to time?
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I also don’t get it… it’s really not rocket science. Must be just a result of laziness…
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I have met with this often, even in my own relations. Most of the time their reason why are : 1.” I work, earn money, keeping family, no time for silly stuff.” 2.” I didnt forget on your birthday, wait do you want something else except of this day during year?” 3. “I dont know what you want, you need say it durectly, i cant read your mind”. Last is just eyerolling situation I swear, because how one man cant know his woman. 🙄🤔 Anyway, those cases taught me, that never expect nothing from man, since their brain isnt made for spontaneous suprises, planned one maybe if they know loong before. I rather say this and this coming so ye.
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What do your female Slovak friends say about this topic? I’m sorry to hear this, am quite surprised. There must be some thoughtful, romantic guys out there!
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Oh, its same stereotyp for most of women, wouldnt even split men into some older and younger generation, because while older still remembers stuff like anniversaries and like Women’s day, younger generation is way more greedy, so balanced in society. We usually inconspicously say to men what we want or wish. I dont think there is other solution of situation. It loses its suprise effect, yes, but less complains?
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I got one of my students, a married woman, a nice box of English chocolates, a metal one with a nice drawing and she was in shock, but in a good way. When I select books to lend to her, she’s also super enthusiastic. I find Slovak women to be even more appreciative of gestures like this and surprises than women in Belgium or the Netherlands. It’s a lot of fun
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Oh, and you can write Slovak women poetry and they will love it, in Belgium they would declare you mentally insane
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Few years ago there was an article on SME stating that every 8th Slovak woman married a foreigner. That statistic included only Slovak women with permanent residency in Slovakia, otherwise the number would be even higher. On the other hand, the number of Slovak men who married a foreigner was 4 times lower (!) compared to Slovak women. https://domov.sme.sk/c/7283547/kazda-osma-slovenska-nevesta-si-berie-cudzinca.html This is indeed an interesting phenomenon. Seems that Slovak men are facing strong international competition. 🙂
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Yes, and sadly you can repeat this over and over and yet it wont be understood by that targeted group of people.
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One in eight? Damn… It sure is fascinating… And I doubt those Slovak men are marrying women from the west. I’m guessing they could be polish, ukranian, hungarian, maybe asian, etc
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I know few slovak men married in west but they living there, got used on their life style. On other hand with slovak woman its harder to change coat so easily.
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Funny! I’m in Crete right now, arrived yesterday. The first word I heard this morning from the balcony was: pozor! Slovaks everywhere!
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Ok now question on you William, what was first slovak word which got nailed in your brain after coming to slovakia? 😁
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That’s a very, very good question. I will have to think about it! I will let you know!
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Nech sa paci, I suppose. I don’t think it was really the first word, but it’s the first expression I remember memorizing. Because of the bar called ‘the next apache’. It’s owned by a Canadian and that guy heard ‘nech sa paci’ everywhere and it sounded like ‘next apache’. Other than that perhaps ‘sranda’ or ‘v pochode’ or ‘maj sa’. Years ago I heard a mother call her little child ‘pampuch’ and I thought it sounded funny, so I immediately used it in many situations even though I wasn’t completely sure what it meant 🙂
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Actually, I should have written every 8th bride in 2013 married a foreigner, not every 8th woman. Anyway, still a high number.
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Our first slovak word somehow became “Dobre”. Me as slovak I really didnt realize how often we are using this word in casual conversations. I make some counter of it one day, I am pretty sure result will suprise me.
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It would have been my first word as well, but I already knew Slovene and Russian when I first visited Slovakia, so dobre didn’t strike me as specifically Slovak. The words I mentioned are very different from other Slavic languages (except Czech of course), so those stuck in my mind most. If I hadn’t know any Slavic language am sure it would have been ‘dobre’ as well. My mum asked why we say dobre so often, and after thinking a bit I concluded: if a Slovak says dobre only once he may just be being polite, but not be happy about the situation. If you say dobre once it can sound like: ‘fine, suit yourself, I don’t care’. But if you say dobre twice or even thrice you most likely agree with what’s going on or you like what’s happening. What do you think?
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We say “Dobre” more then often I would say. I noticed I say this word at least two three times while having casual work call with customer as reply on his questions or as confirming whatever. Its not only about How are you? Basically you can replace OK with it, or we using it as question for making sure something going well. Like this word has so much various usage and Im sure not even syntactically correct. Also did you notice we using more often words ” Ďakujem” and ” Nie je začo” then any other people in countries? Not saying we are more polite or something, but I noticed we like to throw more words with random people as other nations.
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