Netanyahu took a break from the gen.. the gen…. the general direction of the war and reacts to the question: Is Israel applying The ten basic principles of war propaganda by Anne Morelli?

1. We don’t want war, we are only defending ourselves!

We are treating them like shit in the West Bank, framing even the kids for crimes they didn’t commit, burning olive trees, atomizing Palestinian land and when the only ones with some weapons in Gaza bit back we defend ourselves by ensuring Ghengis Kahn is envious in his still to be discovered grave, making sure the kids cry for their lost limbs, lost parents, lost homes, lost brothers and sisters ‘Where can I get a brother like you? I did not get enough of you!!!’ and lost childhoods. Nothing looks like defense than small kids on cold hospital floors with a mere napkin on their belly to keep their exposed intestines from gathering dust from pulverized buildings.

2. Our adversary is solely responsible for this war

First of all, we love that you are calling it a war. It’s a war that implies two sort of equal opponents. Not a sophisticated army sqeezing babies into pulp. And yes they are responsible, duuuuuuh. Dude, those are terrorists. It’s always the terrorists who start wars. We know, cause we started out as terrorists.

3. Our adversary’s leader is inherently evil and resembles the devil

Deif has only one eye! One eye!! Creep!!

4. We are defending a noble cause, not our particular interests!

We are the only democracy in the Middle East and gay people are ok if they are ok with killling kids. It’s only fair.

5. The enemy is purposefully committing atrocities; if we are making mistakes this happens without intention

When we drop a gigantic bomb on a refugee camp we do it to possibly kill a Hamas guy and the collateral damage is not our fault. They deliberately breached the wall we built for them and killed soldiers and civilians in a ratio of 1 soldier for every 3 civilians. Our ratio is, well, let’s move on, you are asking so many questions we have to be brief. There is a damn war going on for our very survival and to prevent all our women from being raped and you barge in here with ten silly accusations to refute.

6. The enemy makes use of illegal weapons

When we drop white phosphorus on them some of the kids try to blow it back to us. NORMAL kids blow soap bubbles. But not Palestinian kids. These death cult kids try to blow white phosporus back to our lines. Their little girls also hide knives in their virgin vaginas and when are soldiers walk past they try to drop them on the shoes of our noble warriors.

7. We suffer few losses, the enemy’s losses are considerable

We only suffered about 70 casualties. No, sorry, that’s the number of journalists we have deliberately murdered in two months time. You know what? This is not a fair point. If we had considerable casualties we would tell you, but how are we supposed to have high casualties? You are accusing us of fighting kids and then you expect us to report heavy losses in our ranks. Please be fair for once, just this once!

8. Recognized intellectuals and artists support our cause

You didn’t say the artist has to be talented, so we are proud to present you our Gadot. And we have two intellectuals who are so smart they can sound like a Thesaurus while saying absolutely nothing. Shapiro, the dude with the Napoleon complex, and that Canadian guy with a sweet tooth for Xanax. Next!

9. Our cause is sacred

It’s our God you pray to, he’s just on loan to you guys.

10. Whoever casts doubt on our propaganda helps the enemy and is a traitor

We don’t even have propaganda, so how can you cast doubt on it? And we don’t go around calling people traitors, we are not primitives, we call the weak-hearted self-hating Jews.

Now please let me get back to the gen.. the gen.. the general direction of the defensive war.