Google tells me only 25 percent of women are able to climax purely by having a penis moving back and forth in their vagina without a hand or a vibrator or a third party’s tongue stimulating their clitoris. Until I had sex with my second girlfriend I was not very aware that most women cannot reach an orgasm through penetration alone. This disappointed me, because, being a male and having a performative attitude towards pretty much anything in life, I saw a female orgasm purely accomplished by moving my penis in and out of her vagina as the ultimate proof that 1. My penis had sufficient bulk 2. I had penetrated her long enough and with – probably – the right movements and speed.

So this discovery opened up the gates to insecurity, dissatisfaction and sense of bereavement of the ultimate prize. It also put stress on some of my sexual partners, because now it was like they were lacking a certain much vaunted quality. That’s not good.

I have read on some medical site that this characteristic has everything to do with the distance between the clitoris and the vaginal entrance. If it’s more than 2,5 cm (an inch) then you can forget about it. Maybe, just maybe, if you carry her in your arms and with a lot of pressure on her genital area she gets to grind away while you are carrying her. Maybe. No guarantees if that distance is more than an inch.

Am not sure if I completely buy this explanation. And I have never measured the clitoris-vagina distance of my sexual partners. Though I cannot say for sure that I will never do so.

I had the impression that it had something to do with the sensitivity of the G-spot. What also makes me think that this theory is at least partially wrong is that I know women who are able to climax doggy-style purely from anal penetration. So in that case it really doesn’t matter where the clitoris is located exactly. To make things even more puzzling: those same women can’t orgasm via vaginal penetration…

Female sexuality… It remains full of mysteries…

Now when I run into a new sexual partner I just assume she will not be able to climax through any kind of penetration and am just focused on the noble art of cunnilingus. At least that does the trick about 95 percent of the time.