Strategies tried in 26 years of battling fat:

  • fasting for one to three days
    (works if you fast one day a week for months)
  • not eating anything after 19.00
    (works, but oh, the joy of late night snacking…)
  • low carb
    (damn, your food options at the local supermarket become limited… Slim pickings… slim pickings indeed…
  • running and biking hell of a lot but eating whatever the fuck I want
    (works only when you are a teenager)
  • counting calories and eating 500 calories less than what you need
    (works very well. unfortunately it turns dieting into a full time job and I have a tendency to spend all my allowed calories on the worst food ever)
  • eating normally and not thinking about dieting
    (doesn’t work)
  • lifting weights and a bit of running and eating mostly protein (works. requires a ton of motivation to keep up)
  • not having any food in the house except the pure basics to stay alive
    (works. tends to ruin concentration, cause you’re just dreaming about having food in the house…Eventually you overeat and it’s not even with food you enjoy)
  • drinking enough coffee to get 1,500 Spanish workers do a bit of labor
    (works at first, extremely counterproductive in the end)
  • be on a diet for six days and totally pig out on the 7th
    (works so well…. If your goal is to gain a lot of weight really fast)