1. Your needs are treated as a task, a chore, or worse a drag or irrational demand. Your needs don’t excite him and he is not energized by trying to discover them. It’s not only about trying to fulfill your needs, just as important is whether he finds your needs a source of inspiration.
  2. He rarely touches you without intention to make things sexual.
  3. Your intuition is telling you the gifts he gives you are given to appease you or manage you.
  4. What you tell him in an attempt to improve things is often taken as unfair criticism instead of a dialogue to improve a situation for both of you.
  5. Physical abuse is unfortunately too common, but luckily not a factor in most relationships. Almost just as alarming though is contempt from his side. An eye roll and a sigh can feel just as diminishing as an outright insult.
  6. You get the feeling he uses you as a ceremonial accessory at events. Your feeling is probably correct.
  7. Life somehow gets organized around his passions, interests, hobbies, job… This doesn’t need to be a clear sign he doesn’t love you, you may be making yourself small or have childhood experiences that let you naturally slip into this, but it’s worth looking into. He may merely have the impression you happen to be happy like that. Why mention this if it’s not a clear sign? Because unfortunately women who are not cherished by their partner may find it difficult to even acknowledge they are not cherished. Unlike what the ‘red pill’ community claims the majority of women stay too long in bad relationships, and are not as actively hypergamous as claimed. Though women are not some selfless creatures and the phenomenon does exist.
  8. His compliments, if you’re getting any, feel rehearsed or are uttered to get something in return. Many men never get compliments themselves, not in childhood, not ever, are shamed early on and not prone to say anything that could make them appear vulnerable. On top of this they often learn that women are turned off not turned on by compliments – if overdone or if they come from a place of neediness. So the absence of compliments is not necessarily a bad sign, but note this:
    even if your guy is massively emotionally repressed, but does love you, some form of complimenting will leak out. They may not be the compliments you dream of hearing, but don’t forget to register his attempts. This is expertly shown in an early Simpsons episode: Homer compliments Marge on how perfectly she puts jam on slices of bread. Not exactly swoon worthy, but the tenderness is still obvious. If you don’t even get these ‘practical’ compliments you have reason to worry.
  9. He desires you less or wants a lot of sex but mostly focused around him orgasming. You may feel as if his not fully with you during sex.
  10. He is quick to say you ‘think too much’ or ‘worry too much.’ Maybe, but why? That noise in your head tends to get a lot quieter, it’s never gone, but it does get quieter when you feel loved.
    This doesn’t mean that women automatically fall for men who really listen to them. The reasons why women fall for a particular man are highly complex with many factors at play. Oddly women seem to want men they fall for to listen to them, they don’t automatically fall for men who are already listening to them. This is again likely about intentions. If guys go: ‘If I understand her she will be hooked’ they usually end up as confidant, but not desired. How cruel things can get between men and women. She wants the man she already desires for other reasons to want to know her. It rarely works the other way around.
  11. Your family and people close to you are in subtle ways or less subtle ways dismissed as somehow problematic, uninteresting, annoying, boring, stupid, etc.
  12. He seems rather territorial over what he owns, separately from you, what you own seems his, but what he owns never seems to be fully yours.