1. Sex always leads to painThe pain can be immediate. When the sex is bad from the first moment and you just wish you were doing it with someone else. The pain can come right after. When you know there is someone out there who will be hurt by this. Or when it was great but you know there will be no next time for whatever reason. It can be much later when you and your partner have lost that magic feeling and now it’s gone, gone, gone. Maybe it comes because for the prospect of having sex you declined a job offer, you didn’t move to a different country when the time was exactly right. Am not talking about catching a STD here, though that can be part of the game too. Am talking about emotional anguish. Emotional scarring. Sex always leads to pain. Even when you’re not having any. Look up the incel community if you are in any doubt that not having sex is painful. It’s better to have it than to not have it, but you will almost always pay for it with pain.
  2. A rich man doesn’t have to tell you he’s richThis is a big one. Remember this one. It will help you see through people. It works in any situation. A truly rich man will have zero motivation to flaunt his wealth. A great lover will not scream to the world what a great lover he is. The most succesful salesman at work is not going to run around the company saying he is the greatest salesman. The best president is not going to say he is the best president. The most popular girl in school is not going to claim she is the most popular girl in school. Anyone who has a need to broadcast to the world how he or she excells at something does not excell at that thing and is clawing away at the world out of insecurity. Give braggarts a hug. That’s what they most need. And a reality check.
  3. Love at first sight exists and reveals everything that’s wrong with youWhen you fall in love with someone the first seconds you meet them… Sound the alarm! You have run into somebody who subconsciously represents all the characteristic you wish you had and you hope to acquire them anyway by sleeping with that person. Yes, it’s that simple. Should you immediately run the other way? If you want to save yourself a potentially very painful learning experience, then yes. If you want to risk it go for it. It could get you a few moments of incomparable bliss. But you will have to do this: at some point you will have ask yourself what it is you don’t like about yourself and which parent saddled you with that burden.
  4. If your social relationships don’t satisfy you an addiction is almost inevitableThese days our social relationships are hollowed out, often superficial, just for fun, friends don’t stick around when the going gets tough, and since our world has sped up and is constantly on the move, it’s become harder to maintain longterm friendships. When our social relationships don’t fulfill us we are at risk of developping an addiction. It doesn’t have to be to illegal drugs. It can be to bingewatching series, overeating, videogames, gambling, online shopping, sex, porn, collecting action figures…. The list is endless. If you are addicted check what you are not getting from your social network and what’s the blockage there.
  5. Sex is 70 percent about the right smell, 20 percent about the visual aspect and 10 percent about techniqueAm not even going to explain this one.
  6. A day with a morning workout is better than a day without a morning workout 

    Am talking about a serious workout that makes you sweat like a pig.

  7. Your favorite movies, books, stories are about you 

    You have found a really great book? Yeah, you identify with one of the main characters.

  8. All fear is the fear of dying

    A guy is afraid of walking up to a girl and asking her name. He is terrified. He freezes. As an onlooker you could think: what is the big deal? Nothing can happen to him! Not true. In the setting humans lived for thousands and thousands of year this is a potentially fatal situation. Not so long ago walking up to a girl and being rejected could diminish your social standing so much that from then on no other girl would ever look at you again. Therefore killing any chance of procreating. Think about this: a mind boggling number of men in the history of humankind probably went to their grave as a virgin. By ‘dying’ is also mean not passing on your genes. I also mean leaving a negative legacy. Not surviving by leaving behind something memorable or healthy children.Our fears are often based on our chances of being ostracized. Back when we lived in much smaller communities being ostracized equalled death as we couldn’t survive in the wild on our own. These days our risk of dying has gone down astronomically, but all these old fears are still engrained in our brain. They make no sense today, but they are very real.
  9. Tolerance for silence is a better indicator of a great friendship than always having something to sayMaybe because real friends are so attuned they don’t need words to know how the other one feels.
  10. Every time you lie you disturb the relationship you have with yourselfTell a lot of lies and you will start getting the feeling that you are a stranger to yourself. Even if it looks like you are getting away with your lies. With every lie you take a step closer to becoming disconnected from others and yourself. Eventually you will give off the vibe of someone who can’t be trusted and you’ll start attracting people who are not trustworthy either. Oh, and people always know you are lying they just pretend to believe you because they value their connection to you more than the truth. Or they pretend to believe you, because they don’t give a shit. Or they choose to believe the lie because the truth hurts too much.
  11. Your entire story is in your body language all the time and people treat you accordingly 

    Serial killers are notorious for being able to select their next victim in a matter of seconds, because they can tell who will be manageable, who will ignore their own instincts. Usually people who have been victimized before and this history is written in their body language. If you crave affection it’s in your body language. If you are mad at the world it’s in your body language. If you like being in the spotlight it’s in your body language. If you are someone who feels better than everyone else it’s in your body language. How self-conscious you are, if your confidence is real or fake, if you are a push-over, if you’re happy, if you are in a place where you belong, if you are at a point in your life that you are satisfied with, if you are in love, if you have had sex or are a virgin, if you are single or not, if many people in your life have complimented you on your good looks. It’s all there. Some fortune-tellers have become extremely adept at reading these signals at a glance. Call it a sixth sense, but it sure is no ability to look into the future. They get their input from you and your comportment.Especially the way you walk sings the song of your life. Whether you’re trying to hide something or not.

  12. You will marry your father or your mother, although you will try very hard not to and for a long time it may even look like you didn’t 

    Very Freudian, I know. Love him or hate him, but there is a reason why the dude is still so relevant today. 

    We love fooling ourselves into thinking that our partner is so very different from our parent of the opposite sex. Once you start scratching the surface you can discover that eventually we have managed to copy the same dynamic we had going on as children.

  13. Most people live for what they think are other people’s opinions about them.Keeping up appearances is what everyone’s most passionate about. Ironically, as a culture, we look up most to those people who have managed to cut that all too human reflex out.

    Sometimes you see people post on social media how they finally don’t care anymore what anyone thinks about them. Go back to point 2 on this list. Someone who doesn’t care would never say that.

    Never underestimate to what extent people make their decision based on how they THINK it will look to other people.

    You know those rare people who have this rare, attractive ‘je ne sais quoi’ kinda vibe going on? Those are people who make their decisions for themselves. People who live life on their own terms. They are very rare because almost nobody is immune to the imaginary judgement of the invisible audience.

    When you ask who a person is you might be better off asking: who is this person trying to please?

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