The first time I was hit by the word ‘bestseller’ was when my father said: ‘We can’t afford that until I finally have my bestseller ready.’

I was a child and I wanted to see my parents prosper.

The bestseller never came and it became an obsession in my mind for the rest of my life. Like a task that had to be finished, like an atavistic, inherited crusade. An almost impossible task that you should finish or die trying.

It took over my entire life, and at some point that elusive bestseller plus sex took over all my life.

I wrote and wrote and wrote. Almost every day. All kinds of genres. When I was young I would finish whole manuscripts and send them off to publishers. I usually got told that I had talent, that it was well written, but lacked a common thread to hold it all together.

I gave up sending manuscripts to publishers and focussed on blogging, for a while I worked as a journalist, but the journalistic form makes for such confined, such castrated, sterile writing that I stopped enjoying it. The articles had to be too soulless, too devoid of truth, lacking in authenticity, even when factually correct.

I know I often try to do too many things at the same time.

The book ‘the one thing’ really opened my eyes to this.

I know I should be focussing on writing one great book, and not hundreds of blog posts.

Did you know that there are almost 1,000 articles on this website? Visitors almost always read only the new ones, but if you have time and are interested scroll all the way back to the beginning. This website has gone through many changes and it’s still evolving.

This year alone, in 2018, I have written the equivalent of three books on this website. If you put all the articles I have written in 2018 in book form you end up with three books of about 200 pages each. Except, there are no books, there are just blog posts. Only about 5 percent of these get a lot of readers.

So am thinking: What is the one thing I should be investing 80 percent of my energy in? A book? But what about? There are so many topics and stories that fascinate me. Teaching? To be honest, I enjoy teaching, it’s like a light, playful form of psychotherapy or coaching for me, but I am looking for a project that could free me of HAVING TO teach. I would like to have money rolling in through one great project so I can teach only the people I want to teach. And invest more money and energy in building a reputation as a therapist.

This is one of my biggest worries. How to stop scattering my energy all over the place? I manage to be very busy all the time, but am sure I’m not being highly effective.

If you feel like it let me know what should be your priority if you want to move closer to your dream life.

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