Easily the most exhausting thing in my life right now are some people around me who have ravenous egos.
Every sentence they say can be translated as: I’m the greatest, I’m the greatest, I’m the greatest!!! Look how people love me, love me, love me. They love me more than you!!! More than anyone you know!!!! Me, me, meeeeee!!!!!
What makes it extra frustrating is that I know full well that it’s not true what they are saying. If it were true they wouldn’t have the need to constantly repeat how great they are. There’s no point telling them the truth though, their needy ego makes them more resilient than the Waffen-SS. They turn anything into something positive about themselves. You have to admire the toughness with which people defend their vanity.
I would like to shake them and scream: shut the fuck up, get some modesty, you are just a human being like the rest of us!!!
But I don’t, and I suffer in silence, and hear them paint their rosy colored, yet fragile self-image. I keep my mouth shut and feel every cell in my body cringe. I suppose that’s how I’ll develop some raging form of cancer.
It must be exhausting for them as well, to be constantly looking for examples and little anecdotes to tell to show how exceptional they are.
Even worse is when they go around complaining about everyone else to show how they always know best and that others are being inconsiderate, blind, egotistical, etc. If these people weren’t part of my life it could be mildly entertaining to watch them on a television screen, now it’s just EXASPERATING.
Can we just agree that none of us are perfect? That none of us are the rulers of the universe nor the center of it? Can we? Please?
I will start:
My name is William and I’m a very flawed person.
I fuck up, a lot, usually every day, sometimes I do something nice and sometimes I screw up. I’m human. I can save your day and I can be the biggest asshole you met today. Both are me. You are not much different. Can we agree on this?
Please stop screaming in my face how perfect you are, it’s ruining every chance that I will show love and affection for you, which is exactly what you need. So yes, this neurotic listing of all the reasons why you deserve to be loved is totally defeating the purpose.
And exhausting me. There’s something very exhausting about fake behavior.
I think nobody will ever realize how much pent-up anger I’m able to contain in my relatively small body.
Not sure if that’s the biggest favor I can do myself or others, I must say.
It’s fake too.