Death threats and other gifts

You reader, who also feel and care about other people, join me in offering our labour, our love, our compassion, our creativity, but letting go of the outcome. Yesterday came with some death threats, some pleasant face to face interactions, some group discussion on selfconfidence in Czech and Slovak, a Spanish lesson with a deep thinking Mexican lady, some synchronicity, some hip pain, a note for my son on his breakfast table, a good day all in all.In the afternoon I had a Dutch class with two teenagers, some of my favorite students, my youngest ones, but wisest ones.

– ‘How was your ski trip?

– ‘We skied. Next question.’

Two teenagers too honest to entertain me with small talk.

Oh, and am not cool, because I watched a Mr Beast video.

I leave their home and rush over to a typical Slovak ‘House of Culture’ (Dom kultury).

380 people waiting to learn more about self-confidence.

Most of them are women.

Men think they are self-confident, but every word and action shows they don’t and women know they are not self-confident and don’t see it as a sign of weakness to be here.

I have long hair now and am at lecture on self-confidence, so wouldn’t be surprised if they assume am gay. Gays are not well understood here. Most gays abhor long hair.

Moving on.

The panel has nothing to say on self-confidence you haven’t heard before or can’t find explained on YouTube in under 5 minutes, but I hear Czech and Slovak, the Czech parts require some of my focus here and there.  

The room is very quiet. Five Dutch people are louder than 380 Slovaks.

They mention some of the usual suspects.

Groan.

Napoleon Hill…

Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist (the Czech speaker called it The Magician)

The four agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz.

They go over time. Maybe out of self-doubt, maybe because the speakers on self-confidence are worried they are underdelivering. One of them cancelled at the last moment, so there’s only three of them instead of the scheduled four.

I leave early, which is the only part that required any self-confidence cause when you leave early you feel like everyone is burning their eyes into you and these days am so absorbed by other things that I look like a homeless guy.

I don’t want to miss my Spanish lesson.

Michelle from Mexico talks to me about the levels on which one can perceive reality. What she’s saying goes much deeper than the three speakers who probably got a nice sum of money for chatting about how we should just be fine with who we are.

In the background a tweet is going viral and it’s in that stage where Twitter puts it in front of people who are going to hate it and be triggered by it.

Some of the more needy ones bite and tried to humiliate me or send thinly veiled death threats.

Thanks God, because if nobody returns fire, you are bombing the wrong targets.

A maxim of war the IDF is stubbornly refusing to learn or apply.

I know what is going on inside me when I try to humiliate someone, so instead of feeling in any way humilated, angry or triggered, I feel the immense pain of the people reaching out to me in their suffering.

The laziness and lack of creativity sometimes triggers me, which should tell you am scared am lazy and lack creativity. It’s not complicated.

As to synchonicity, Michelle told me some personal stuff that was exactly like what am going through myself. At some point she mentions a little known book and I happen to have it sitting on a shelf at arm’s length. Things like that.

And an undercurrent to all of it are thoughts of people supporting mass murder while imagining themselves to be the good guys, my own struggles with some students I don’t particularly like and if me not liking them too much makes me a bad person, and self-torturing wonderments about how to have more of my desires fulfilled.

You know, a regular dosage of doing the human life experience thing.

As said above, a pretty good day.

If you like me sharing, you can retweet this post or ‘follow’. I’ll probably follow you right back.

If it did anything for you, let me know, cause in the end I only write this stuff to connect and give you some spark, maybe.

Much love,

William