My father would praise from time to time and generously, BUT if I ever said something even mildly boastful about myself he would immediately make fun of me.
Whenever someone enjoyed success he was quick to point out any mistakes that person had made. Or he would mention a – conveniently – dead and lesser known celebrity who had accomplished more.
For years I avoided bragging in any shape or form because I was afraid someone would instantly jump up and cut me down.
I now realize that people who feel the need to attack you when you say you are good at something are struggling with their own sense of inferiority and lack of success.
Note for example how exceptionally successful people do not tend to criticize others or try to make other people feel insecure.
There seem to be two modes of expression deeply insecure people have:
They do all they can to never make other people feel insecure
they feel the need to undermine other people’s confidence. If I can’t feel secure then nobody can!!!
Envy is particularly self-sabotaging as it reinforces a belief that success is in very limited supply. But somebody’s success does not mean there is now less success to go around.
The opposite is true. If someone can be successful, then of course, so can you.
I used to be highly sensitive to other people’s bragging myself. I loved destroying their confidence. This was just a distraction from my own fears.
If you often feel envious you have to work on believing that good things can happen to you to.
It may also mean you do things in order to get success and not because you have a true passion for what you do.
And that is the real success: doing what you love.
It’s nice if the world recognizes you for being great at something, but the less you care about that the faster you will get there.
If you have a success allergy you can start curing yourself by genuinely praising someone for their accomplishments.
If you are encouraging of other people’s success you will find it easier to work towards your own success.