Maybe it’s more accurate to say these things make my feelings of depression worse. These are not exactly the cause of why I often feel very down, but they tend to make it worse.

In random order.

  1. Porn

    It gives me the feeling I’m missing out. That am missing out A LOT and to an unbearable degree. Am strictly no fap now, but sometimes I get curious or want some quick dopamine fix and go there for like 5 to 10 minutes. I always regret it. It’s like binging on sugary things. You instantly feel like you have violated your own being.
  2. Staying in touch with a woman who’s rejected me
    Luckily I simply don’t do this. I don’t stay in touch, I have no masochist desire to be friendzoned. I list it because sometimes someone like that contacts me and then it hurts for a bit and depresses me.
  3. Sunny days

    Again, this gives me the feeling that other people are enjoying themselves and being happy and here is me: depressed. I feel better when it’s raining and when it’s gray outside. When it’s sunny I feel like the Gods are taunting me: haha, you can’t enjoy this!!! I do like when it’s a bit warmer, so ideal for me is stormy summer weather.

    This doesn’t always apply though. Sometimes am very ok with sunny weather.
  4. Certain people. Also any time people are prejudiced towards me.

    Any kind of contact with these people or even being reminded of their existence can make me feel down, frustrated and angry for a few hours to up to a few days. I do whatever I can to prevent this.

    Also: I am a VERY nice guy. Too nice for my own good in fact. It’s super depressing when people are so prejudiced and so narrow-minded that they put me in a very negative box. Mega unfair.

    Extra annoying, even insulting: People who don’t respect that I DO NOT want to be in touch with them.
  5. People enjoying way more success doing something similar to what I do

    Yes, envy is poison. But it also reminds me that am simply not practical when it comes to selling my creativity. And that does hurt.
  6. Politics

    The political world never seems to swing in a direction that I like.
  7. Certain debates and judgemental people and phony people. Inauthentic behavior.

    For example: when someone only voices an opinion to please a parent.
  8. Being confronted with my weight gain over the years

I cannot find the discipline and I don’t seem to have the space to endure the pain that comes with getting back in shape. I find that very depressing.

9. Alcohol

Sometimes it gives me a buzz and sometimes I even enjoy being creative even more when am under the influence, but when the effect wears off I always feel A LOT worse.

10. Having to waste time on utterly pointless bureaucracy.

I guess I don’t have to explain this one.


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