I’m an addict.

I think.

So why the pain?

Loneliness as a child and teenager?

The usual boring story about how my grandfather and father killed themselves?

Being an only child and not being able to accept that you can’t always have everything you want?

The inherited mission that I HAVE to write a bestseller?

I don’t have an answer for you. I can only tell you that I walk around like I was stabbed. And that I have an addiction that for short periods of times makes me forget the pain. Just for a bit. Just for some minutes from time to time.

It’s not the worst addiction. It’s probably not going to get me killed. It won’t be my financial ruin. But yes, I am addicted. Some of my friends say am not, some of my friends say I am not. I say that I probably am.

How to take away the pain?

One of my smartest students once said: ‘Create, create, create.’

My own inner voice says: escalate the addiction!!!!

Am sure anyway who wishes will be able to find out which path I will choose. Maybe both.

What I can tell you is that the pain won’t be gone today. And it won’t be gone tomorrow.

I highly recommend this interview with Gabor Maté. Congratulations to Tim Ferriss, because it’s the best interview I have seen with Gabor Maté and I have seen A LOT of talks and interviews featuring this Hungarian born Canadian physician.