Hands up if you have never had any pet in your entire life. I am writting this article, because today is the 4th anniversary of the death of one of my best friends ever. My Dog, not just dog but Mr. dog. Dog with capital D.

I am more than sure, most of us know how it is, when you have your own pet. When I was kid, I always wanted a dog, for some reason. Firstly I was caring for dolls, but then the desire got upgraded to care about something living. This became true a few days before Christmas, I got the best puppy ever. He certainly was.

I will never forget the moment when I saw a half destroyed cardboard box which was even moving. Either there was a puppy inside or someone was pulling my leg. Yes, inside was my 2 months old German boxer.

It was my first pet, my first dog,  the first experience with this breed. I immediately fell in love with him. I named him Astor. I was told, you need to give your dog a name ending in R, so it will sound really serious. Really?

It was cold outside, he couldn’t stay there. So I brought him inside. My mother protested a lot, we are both cleaning freaks and a dog inside of our house? She couldn’t imagine that. The first nights were hard, he cried a lot, peed a lot, munched on a lot of our slippers.

As it usually is in life, the puppy happened to be adult dog within a few months. But who cared, we became the perfect team, a duo forever. He was my companion on long walks in nature, faster than me on skates, because he just was.

The saying that a dog loves all his family members, but only one is his truly beloved master was true. I swear, when I was sad, he was too, when I cried, he came to me, put his head in my lap, trying to cheer me up with his big black eyes. Honest ones. Dogs don’t cheat, they don’t hurt you, they can’t get offended by you, they are always there for you, happy for your attention.

Aftera  few years, he had an accident. His knee´s tendons got ruptured. Very urgent surgery was needed. It was the first time, I felt such fear, such hopeless feeling. Fortunately, everything went smoothly and we could take him home the next day. I never forgot his look when he noticed me in the clinic. Like: why did you do this to me? It hurts. Yes I knew it. I dont know from where I got the energy, but the next few nights I slept on the ground next to him, taking him to pee outside always when he needed to, but we did it. This incredible duo.

While I was at the gymnasium, every single day, he waited for me near the fence doors at 4pm when I was coming back. Every single day. He had probably the best watch in the world.

He was also with me when I met my first boyfriend. He was protective, but not jealous. They became friends very soon. We became a trio. Never forgot one of our first dates. We took Astor out, on a small walk around the lake. Sounds romantic right? Yes until the moment when Astor jumped into the first poo he found there and just rolled over it with his back. Oh my… the way back home… was smelly. But we still laughed a lot.

When he was 10 years old I noticed the first problems. He started to have small epileptic fits. The dctors said, there is nothing to do about this. We just got some pills to make it easier. As time went on, his fits got stronger and came more often.


He just fell down. Right next to me. I just immediately sat next to him, touched his head and spoke to him, kept stroking him gently over his head and body. He calmed down, started to breathe regularly. I took him inside. Wanted to have him near. An other fit came. I was sitting next to him on the carpet and touching him. This was really bad. He couldn’t stand back up. He just lay on the ground, looking at me with those big eyes full of tears. I started to cry so much. My heart felt it. He died in my arms five minutes later. I screamed, I cried, but this is life. We do love, we care, but the emotional pain is horrible.

Since that, I always burn candle on this day. I remember what a perfect friend he was. We were together for 11 years. I lost a piece of my heart with him. But I will never forget.

I am sure everyone who ever had a dog or a cat or an other pet like this, will understand me.


I miss you Astor.

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