When you live in Slovakia you often run into women from Austria, Hungaria, Romania. Also from Poland, Ukraine and the Czech Republic and even Croatia, but I don’t want to focus on Slavic women right now. Slavic women are fairly similar, except that Slovak women are the most limited and predictable in their thinking. They are prettier than their Czech, Polish, and Slovenian sisters. Meaning they are prettier than their Germanized Slavic sisters. The less Slavic women are the less pretty they become. Except when you go to Latin-America you won’t find prettier women than in the purest Slavic countries, in the following order and no, Slovakia does NOT have the most beautiful women, that title goes to:

1. Ukraine

2. Serbia

3. Russia

4. Croatia

5. Slovakia

6. Bulgaria

7. Poland

8. The Czech Republic

9. Bosnia

10. Macedonia

But if you rank these countries according to the intellectual vapidness and conversational predictability and limited sense of humor Slovakia easily jumps to number one. Closely followed by Poland. (Am suspecting the culprit is the pulpit of the Catholic Church).

This becomes so, so painfully obvious when you bump into women from Romania, Hungary or Austria.

All of a sudden you are talking to women who:

  • know some history
  • read books
  • aren’t sexually repressed
  • have black humor
  • aren’t Skoda driving hockey mums (the Slovak equivalent of volvo-driving soccer mums)
  • aren’t entirely baby-obsessed
  • dress a lot less sexy, but don’t make sex into a super big deal either
  • invest less than 50 percent of their salary in clothes and make-up
  • don’t confuse culture with wedding ceremonies
  • And the most important point: they show initiative and are much more interactive

It’s like Slovak women come in two shapes: 1. super gentle spiritually idealistic porcelain- like Saints and 2. stone-faced cold-hearted materialistic hot-looking bitches. Usually seen behind the wheel of giant expensive cars driving from their manicure to the tanning salon and milking some guy to maintain this life-style.

This becomes blatantly obvious when you interact with Romanian, Hungarian or Austrian women.

It can’t be a coincidence that all the women I have met here from those countries are funny, show initiative, talk about more interesting topics, don’t repeat the same old clichés and are not limited to being house-wives, they also tend to be experts in certain fields, especially the Austrian ones are incredibly well-educated.

Then you start to think the big old cliché is true.

Slovakia doesn’t have women that belong to a strong urbanized middle-class, there are only village girls in Slovakia who take their village mentality with them everywhere they go, whether they live in Bratislava -which is the most hated place in Slovakia- or any of the smaller cities.

I don’t know if Slovakia will ever develop this intellectual middle-class. It exist even now, I do meet some women who belong to it, but it’s so small that it’s almost invisible.

I think this will not change until Slovaks start to appreciate their capital city of Bratislava.

Every weekend there’s an exodus here. People run away to the villages. You can’t have a Paris or a London or even an Amsterdam if nobody wants to stay in the city at the weekend.

Slovaks see Bratislava as this soulless urban hell-hole where you only go to make money and get out the first chance you get.

And that’s sad, because I think a capital city or at least some other city in a country should be the intellectual, cultural cradle. Bratislava has a population that doesn’t want to be here and other than Bratislava there’s no city of any real significance to take up the role of cultural hotbed. And so Slovakia develops materially, but is stagnant in its ideas and outlook on life.

The biggest instigators of change are the Slovaks that live some time abroad and come back after a couple of years. Those are often much more vibrant and interactive and open than the ones who never leave.

If you are a super sociable person then Slovakia is almost like a prison of the human soul, as it’s full of people who are so, so reluctant to really befriend others. They are invariably sweet people, but they have built thick walls around themselves and aren’t even aware of them.

Slovaks are risk-averse, love stereotypes and adore routine and traditions. This does kill adventure.

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