To be perfectly honest I’m having children to

  • Please my mother who is the best woman in the world and grandchildren will only increase her happiness
  • To make life a little less boring
  • To make sure my father has a legacy. I am not sure if he would have even cared, but I will have more peace knowing that his bloodline doesn’t end with me
  • The usual narcissistic reasons people have to further pollute the planet
  • Because the children will have an excellent mother and excellent grandparents
  • To have people to play boardgames with who will lose 9 out of 10 games for at least 15 to 20 years to come
  • At least they won’t be accidents. I’ve done lots of stupid shit in my life, but accidentally creating a human being is not one of them
  • I honestly think I will be an entertaining father
  • You may think these are crazy reasons to have children, but hey, having children is ALWAYS a bad idea. If humanity would be objective and intelligent we would all stop having children and consciously decide to peacefully go extinct
  • Of course I’m quite concerned about the consequences of the upcoming fatherhood. Here are some:
    Almost all people I meet are in some ways fucked up by their parents. In which way will I fuck up the children? It’s hard to predict, but let’s assume Jung is right and that the most influential aspect of any child’s life is the ‘unlived life of the parent’. I have a vast ‘unlived’ life. Will the child try to compensate for the boredom it feels residing in the bossom of his or her father? As I have tried to compensate for the unlived life of my father? Is there any way to prevent infecting my children with the meat eating microbes of my shattered ambitions?
    How will my depressions influence the children? I know that my father’s depressions made me experience the world as a place of doom where only the hypocrites and the vain and the cheaters enjoy success, not the hard-working honest people. Will I pass that world view on to my children? Or will I manage to create a more optimistic environment? My mum is a very positive, life embracing woman, my wife is as well, my father in law as well, perhaps it can all compensate for the hatred buried in me.
    I don’t see myself as particularly manly, so I wonder what effect that will have on my sons. On the other hand, the fathers I know who were classically manly have fathered insecure, awkward sons who are cut off from their emotions and only pretend they have it all together because they are vain, but they are obviously not open, not thriving, and not happy, and pretty damn awful with women… So who knows? Maybe a more feminine man can certainly do no worse than the typical ‘tough’ acting, mute beer guzzling sport watching apes most fathers are
    I have very little trust in schools. I’ve spent most of my life in schools and I know that 1. Most people who teach are rubbish 2. School does not teach you anything to use in the real world, except perhaps what you need to do some silly desk job. So, how exactly am I going to school my children? If I leave it up to our obsolete school system I will end up with beings who are not creative, cannot debate, cannot start a business, cannot start anything and are only good at doing what they are told…
    An extra concern is that they will grow up in a primitive country like Slovakia, a country I pretty much detest, but it happens to offer all sorts of practical advantages for my specific background
    I do not look very dominant, but the truth is that I am, in close relationships I want my way, which is rarely obvious. Am not sure how that will influence my kids. On the surface I suspect they will have freedom, but probably not in areas that matter to me. But at some point a power struggle may be good for their character
    What am most concerned about is what I can expose to them. Like my parents always treated me like an adult. Almost nothing was shielded from me. By the time I was 4 I think the only thing I was not allowed to see was hard core porn. I feel a tendency inside me to also watch series like Vikings with my 4 year old son. I suppose my wife will disagree
    An other issue is that my wife is a devout Catholic and that we are in a country full of bigots. This could lead them to be conflicted about religion. Dad loathes it and mother loves it… On the bright side: I am more of a Christian than most self-proclaimed Christians, so perhaps I hate the Church more than the religion itself, so there might not be such a deep conflict in values. My wife and I are actually always TOO sweet in dealing with people, and way more tolerant of people’s personal life styles than a lot of other folks, especially those Christians who claim to be following the example of the legendary all loving Jesus figure
    Our lives will be only about work and kids trouble for at least the next 10 years, but hey, at the moment our lives are only about work, so perhaps the kids will be a welcome distraction. And I must say that the happiness of my mother and giving my father a chance at genetic immortality count for much