25th of june 1998

I won’t be seeing Katrien again. 5 days of school left. Exams. Peter told me she’s going on a trip with her parents. Leaves in two days. Hawai. Funny that rich parents also happen to have the most beautiful daughters. What is that about? Better nutrition? Less stress during pregnany (sic). My mum must have had a lot of stress when she had me. Factory work. The longest conversation I’ve ever had with her was on her birthday. Eric is telling me I was being too nice to her. But when I tried being rude to her, we didn’t speak for more than three weeks. I think Eric is just tall, and doesn’t give a fuck, so girls like that. Girls say they like sensitive guys, but they don’t. Never listen to a girl to find out what she wants. Passed all exams. Summer could be boring. It will start raining again. All of july. Been sunny ever since May, best weather when we’re writing exams. It will start raining the moment we pass through the school gate on Tuesday. Peter is throwing a party. Don’t think I’ll go. They just drink and play awful, awful dance music. Started reading the prince by machiavelli. I don’t see how you could apply any of this in real life. They’re playing A few Good men tonight. This time I want to see the beginning. I feel like there’s stuff that I should find out, but I don’t know where to look for it. And school won’t tell you. If the teacher had anything real to say, they wouldn’t be teachers. I told me father he is cynical. He said he is sarcastic and that I am cynical and fatalistic. I thought he was fatalistic. He says he’s optimistic. My mum says he’s bi-polar. She says she’d never heard of the word before she met him. I think I should give up on girls and find some other source of happiness. But what??? There’s nothing more beautiful in this world. Life must be so easy when you’re Katrien.’

Then there’s a huge chunk of text completely blotted out, the only word I can make out is ‘chocolate’.

One of the authors of PEP when he was 15.

 

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