The simple fucking present

Used for things that are presently fucking true or fucking happen often

Example: Brano from I B is a fucking awesome guy.

Other fucking example: I always have a lot of fun with the guys and the Queen of the Damned in I B.

The simple fucking past

Used for things that used to be fucking true or happened fucking often in the fucking past.

Fucking example: I had the greatest respect for Jakub in 3 D, until he copied all the answers to one test from his fucking phone.

Second fucking example: Mišo in I B used the word fuck a lot, until someone told him to stop using words he had no actual experience with.

The present fucking continuous

Used to describe actions that are happening right now.

Examples:

I’m getting completely fucking tired of explaining shit that really isn’t anything like brain surgery and can be learned in under fifty fucking minutes if you would just fucking focus.

You are reading this fucking blog post right now.

The past fucking continuous

Used to describe an action that takes a certain amount of fucking time in the past, when something else suddenly fucking happened.

Example:

We were having fun, until someone had to ask for more grammar exercises, because he or she can’t wrap his or her head around the concept of ‘immersion’.

The present fucking perfect

Used to describe something that happened in the past that is still not finished in the present.

I have lived in fucking Bratislava for seven months now and I have learned fucking Slovak, so why can’t you fucking learn this fucking bit of English grammar?

The past fucking perfect

Example:

I had just fucking kissed that girl, when you barged in.

The simple fucking future

Example:

I will fucking explain it.

The future fucking perfect

You will have nailed this fucking bit of grammar by the end of June.

And so on.

Recap:

Continuous: you need the fucking -ing form.

Perfect: you need to use the fucking verb ‘to have’

Simple: you need ONE fucking verb form

Future: you will need to use fucking ‘will’

Is this fucking clear now?

Also: you people google fucking everything and find out everything that fucking matters to you on your own, but fucking grammar? Oh, no, too fucking hard!!! Let’s blame the fucking teacher if we still don’t fucking get it.

Here is a fucking overview:

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