IMG_7640.JPGIt’s a book.

200+ pages.

Kinda of a coming of age story.

You know, a story, the thing you read to replace your dull live with the more adrenaline fueled experiences of fictional characters.

We follow the adventures of Nathaniel P, surprise, surprise.

Typical American underdog hero.

Middle class.

Intelligent. Well-read. Well-bred.

Jewish background of course.

Sucks with girls in highschool.

Pines for hot girls. A pain that should be outlawed.

Finds some string that a hot girl uses to make a pony tail.

Her scent is on it, so he keeps it and smells it and jerks off to it.

He goes off to college.

Reads and writes.

What else do the involuntarily celibate do in college?

Finally gets laid with a girl sort of out of his league.

He and the hot do gooder physician (an oncologist working with children) break up.

He moves to New York. Devotes himself to a freelancing writer career. Writes a book.

Gets a book deal and a nice advance.

And there’s a lot of dating.

We basically get insight in four of his relationships.

It’s a decent book. Reads fast. The dialogue isn’t boring. The characters are real. And the conversations are sprinkled with an intellectual idea here and there. (‘The happiness of the individual doesn’t count, it’s society as a whole that needs to thrive. Slavery was a good thing or we wouldn’t be enjoying the luxury of talking about books and dating’)

The four women are all good looking.

One is very clingy and has a huge syringe labelled ‘external validation’ plugged into her arms. She’s well read and Nate fancies hot bodies with a literary mind. She constantly criticizes him, but when he stops caring, she does all he can to keep him happy, but he detaches.

The doctor is too much into actually doing something and not into reading. So not really his cup of tea.

The third one is perfect for him, BUT, and this is not spelled out in the book, but it’s clear enough, he’s not physically attracted to her.

The fourth one is superficial and girly, but – again, not spelled out in the book- she is the most physically attractive to him. She’s also a writer, but he doesn’t give a rat’s ass about her kind of writing. Doesn’t matter. The physical attraction trumps all.

The sex scenes are virtually non-existent. It’s suggested in the book that Nathaniel is really bad in bed, and that must be true. He only does missionary position and there’s one example of a particularly uninspired doggy style.

The message?

Nobody fucking knows what a writer ever intended to say, but for me it seemed to be something like this, something my good friend Abram keeps repeating:

A couple is fine as long as the sex is great.

All the rest is just unessential bonus, stuff your best friends can supply.

In a happy relationship -I mean a happy one- sex is everything.

But hey, there are so many reasons why unhappy or content couples stay together.

I was only talking about satisfied couples.

Our DNA is only ever pulled to people who are just a little bit above us, just a little too good for us, just a little out of our reach.

Our DNA does not want to hook up with DNA that presents itself without a real challenge.

I wish you all the apex of carnal pleasure in 2017. The kind that fills every neuron with life and lets you be vibrantly creative without the murderous pangs of desire.

By the way, it’s a fine book. Subtle in its description of relationship dynamics.

But this Swimming for Elba, the book you see on the right, is more powerful, far more erotic in its descriptions, it’s steamy without sex scenes, and catches the torment of desire even better. More on that novel later.