Once you go Slovak you never go back. I mean, when it comes to dating Slovak women. In all other areas of life, you’d wish you could go back to anything else.

– Slovak drivers seem bent on turning pedestrians into roadkill

– Flemish drivers will stop if you point one finger towards the curb

– Slovak people share more. If I give my students chocolate they share it spontaneously. The only thing Belgians share is their introverted nature.

– In Flanders Christmas is a trick to make you buy stuff. And yet an other excuse to stuff yourself. In Slovakia the holiday has retained some of its spiritual meaning, is celebrated more traditionally.

– Slovak women… There’s a knock out babe on every corner. In Flanders you have a security camera on every corner.

– Slovakians are that rare breed of Europeans that can prove you that life without money is possible.

– Wages in Slovakia are far lower and supermarket prices are far higher. Women are a lot thinner.

– Slovakia is a country in which the population LOVES to be screwed by corrupt politicians. It’s the second most corrupt country in Europe.

– In Slovakia all parties are xenophobic.

– in Flanders all parties are xenophobic, but some, especially on the extreme left, like the hypocrites of the PVDA, hug muslims just to get their votes.

– When a Slovak waitress is in a bad mood she won’t hide it. Carry a windshield with you to protect yourself against splashes of scaldingly hot soup.

– When a Flemish waitress is in a bad mood she’ll maintain her artificial syrupy tone while her eyes shit on you.

– Slovak beer is very light.

– Belgian beer is very strong.

– Slovak wine is good.

– Belgian wine is… Huh?

– Slovakia is a fine country until you are sick or old or in need of help that cannot be provided by a family member.

– Belgium is still a country where the sick and old are very well off. And they get twice as much money as the hardest working young Slovak.

– Slovakians, especially the men, are obsessed with mountain climbing and alcohol. Not with changing the country for the better. I think they may be running away from the unbearably sexy Slovak women.

– Flemish men are obsessed with cycling, silly social media trends, and alcohol. Not with changing the country for the better.

– Bullshit news is as popular in Slovakia as it is in Flanders.

– Television seems to have less of a hold on Slovak youngsters than on Flemish youngsters.

– Videogames and internet porn are destroying both Flemish and Slovak boys. And most porn actresses are Eastern European, right? Or do Eastern European women look like porn stars? Am confused.

– Slovak women dress far better with far less money.

– Slovak women can hold their liquor better than Flemish women, and better than Flemish men as well…

– Belgian men tend to dress a little bit better than Slovak men. Or the too small tuxedo with muddy sneakers or sweatpants with beige or kaki sandals still have to make it to the fashion world in Belgium.

– Belgian men tend to have better personal hygiene. By that I mean: when they get on a tram you don’t have to run away from them with your handkerchief dipped in orange juice plugged in both nostrils to avoid the garlicky, sweaty, tobacco stench.

– In Slovakia you risk your life if you enter someone’s house with your shoes on. You have to change into slippers. Ignoring this custom is practically the only way to get uninvited. Slovak people are very hospitable. Once they get to know you. Which only takes about 10 years and a KGB background check of all your relatives.

– In Belgium you cannot enter someone’s house unless you’ve known them for five years and can prove you’ve never been convicted for any crime, especially none involving children, stealing money from a company is ok. If you do get to enter, you can keep your shoes on. Flemish people are very hospitable if they can use you for something and they have cleaning ladies, so they don’t care if you keep your shoes on or not.

– Slovak men do not talk about emotions. Maybe they don’t even have them.

– Flemish men talk about emotions. When they get very drunk.

-Slovak men think Flemish men are gay.

– Weed is still popular in Slovakia, because it’s still illegal.

– Euthanasia, gay marriage are not accepted in Slovakia. Especially gay men are not accepted. A gay man opting for euthanasia, who’s previously adopted children and has as sister who opted for abortion, is well, I don’t know, Satan??

– Slovak people will get angrier at the thought of one gay couple adopting a baby than about the US slaughtering thousands of people with drones. Really…

– Slovak people are far more religious than Flemish people.

-Slovaks sit in Church thinking about beer, and Flemish people sit in bars drinking beer wondering if life was better when we still believed in God.

– Slovak people from the Eastern part of Slovakia think they are better than everyone else.

– Flemish people from Antwerp think they are better than everyone else.

– I think we should arrange a meeting between people from Antwerp and the Slovak East. Just to see what happens.

– Flemish women are much more easy to talk to about emotions. Which still doesn’t compensate for their lack of erotic appeal.

– Flemish women tend to be pear shaped

– Slovak women tend to have that sandmill figure that drives men crazy. This does not completely compensate for their general lack of interest in anything beyond material wealth, safety and mild entertainment.

– Slovak men are extremely picky when it comes to selecting women, this is because they don’t want to admit that they actually don’t feel good enough for these women. And they usually aren’t.

– Most Flemish men will hook up with anything that has breasts and a brain.

– Slovak women expect men to be men (= behave like dumb brutes) and are completely puzzled, even annoyed, when confronted with a sensitive guy. Not part of their reality. Off the charts of what is perceived as normal.

– If you want to seduce a Slovak woman you are better off grabbing them by their hair and dragging them to your bedroom than by any sort of long drawn out courting process. If you want the superficial hotties you will need a big shiny car and an expressionless face. They do not understand subtle seduction. Seduction is direct in this country or nothing will happen.

– If you want to seduce a Flemish woman…. Wait, why would you?

– Slovakia is openly corrupt.

– Flanders is equally corrupt, but is better at cooking the books.

– The Slovak educational system is a joke

– The Flemish educational system is a yoke

– Slovakians don’t know anything about Belgium. ‘Say something in Belgian, please’

– Belgians don’t know anything about Slovakia. ‘O yes, Prague is such a wonderful city’

We will be updating this list from time to time and repost it.

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