Once you go Slovak you never go back.

– Slovak drivers seem bent on turning pedestrians into roadkill

– Flemish drivers will stop if you point one finger towards the curb

– Slovak people share more. If I give my students chocolate they share it spontaneously.

– In Flanders Christmas is a trick to make you buy stuff. And yet an other excuse to stuff yourself. In Slovakia the holiday has retained some of its spiritual meaning, is celebrated more traditionally.

– Slovak women… There’s a knock out babe on every corner. In Flanders you have a security camera on every corner.

– Slovakians are that rare breed of Europeans that can prove you that life without money is possible.

– Wages in Slovakia are far lower and supermarket prices are far higher. Women are a lot thinner.

– Slovakia is a country in which the population LOVES to be screwed by corrupt politicians.

– In Slovakia all parties are xenophobic.

– in Flanders all parties are xenophobic, but some, especially on the extreme left, hug muslims just to get their votes.

– When a Slovak waitress is in a bad mood she won’t hide it.

– When a Flemish waitress is in a bad mood she’ll maintain her artificial syrupy tone while her eyes shit on you.

– Slovak beer is very light.

– Belgian beer is very strong.

– Slovak wine is good.

– Belgian wine is… Huh?

– Slovakia is a fine country until you are sick or old.

– Belgium is still a country where the sick and old are very well off.

– Slovakians, especially the men, are obsessed with mountain climbing and alcohol. Not with changing the country for the better.

– Flemish men are obsessed with cycling, silly social media trends, and alcohol. Not with changing the country for the better.

– Bullshit news is as popular in Slovakia as it is in Flanders.

– Television seems to have less of a hold on Slovak youngsters than on Flemish youngsters.

– Videogames and internet porn are destroying both Flemish and Slovak boys.

– Slovak women dress far better with far less money.

– Slovak women can hold their liquor better than Flemish women.

– Belgian men tend to dress a little bit better than Slovak men.

– Belgian men tend to have better personal hygiene.

– In Slovakia you risk your life if you enter someone’s house with your shoes on. You have to change into slippers. Ignoring this custom is practically the only way to get uninvited. Slovak people are very hospitable.

– In Belgium you cannot enter someone’s house unless you’ve known them for five years and can prove you’ve never been convicted for any crime. If you do get to enter, you can keep your shoes on. Flemish people are very hospitable if they can use you for something.

– Slovak men do not talk about emotions.

– Flemish men talk about emotions. When they get very drunk.

– Weed is still popular in Slovakia, because it’s still illegal.

– Euthanasia, gay marriage are not accepted in Slovakia. Especially gay men are not accepted.

– Slovak people will get angrier at the thought of one gay couple adopting a baby than about the US slaughtering thousands of people with drones.

– Slovak people are far more religious than Flemish people.

– Slovak people from the Eastern part of Slovakia think they are better than everyone else.

– Flemish people from Antwerp think they are better than everyone else.

– Flemish women are much more easy to talk to about emotions. Which still doesn’t compensate for their lack of erotic appeal.

– Flemish women tend to be pear shaped

– Slovak women tend to have that sandmill figure that drives men crazy

– Slovak men are extremely picky when it comes to selecting women

– Most Flemish men will hook up with anything that has breasts

– Slovak women expect men to be men (= behave like dumb brutes) and are completely puzzled, even annoyed, when confronted with a sensitive guy. Not part of their reality. Off the charts of what is perceived as normal.

– If you want to seduce a Slovak woman you are better off grabbing them by their hair and dragging them to your bedroom than by any sort of long drawn out courting process. If you want the superficial hotties you will need a big shiny car and an expressionless face.

– If you want to seduce a Flemish woman…. Wait, why would you?

– Slovakia is openly corrupt.

– Flanders is equally corrupt, but is better at cooking the books.

– The Slovak educational system is a joke

– The Flemish educational system is a yoke

– Slovakians don’t know anything about Belgium. ‘Say something in Belgian, please’

– Belgians don’t know anything about Slovakia. ‘O yes, Prague is such a wonderful city’