I’ve always been looking for a set of rules to make my life easier, more congruent with who I am in a society that’s rarely very open to that person, more authentic, with more clarity, with more level-headedness, a better grip on life, however you want to call it. I’ve been doing this since as far back as the early ’90s and I’ve never quite landed the Holy Grail, though lately I feel like I’m really edging closer. And people are even trying to help me out. A well meaning friend said: ‘If you visit them at home and they don’t have books, don’t fuck them.’ I totally disagree, but I appreciate the gesture. I don’t agree, because A. Some of the most amazing people I’ve ever met never read books. B. What if she has e-books on her smartphone?
As part of my research I hit on this ’77 rules for being a man’, most of them are lame, some are just macho bullshit, untrue and slightly offensive, and somehow associated with Goldman Sachs – a red flag the size of your grandmother’s underwear – but some of them I liked, because they’re just practical or make life bit easier.
Perhaps I should comment on the ones I completely disagree with some time, but here are the ones I like:
13. Always carry cash. Keep some in your front pocket.
15. Do 50 push-ups, sit-ups, and dips before you shower each morning.
17. When in doubt, always kiss the girl.
21. If riding the bus doesn’t incentivise you to improve your station in life, nothing will.
22. An online IQ test should just be one question: Would you be willing to spend twenty minutes taking an online IQ test.
27. Checking your phone after someone else pulls out their phone is the yawn of our generation
29. Pretty women who are unaccompanied want you to talk to them.
32. There’s always another level. Just be content knowing that you are still better off than most who have ever lived.
38. Tip more than you should.
39. Ask for a salad instead of fries
41. If you are wittier than you are handsome, avoid loud clubs.
46. Buy a tuxedo before you are 30. Stay that size.
48. Remember, “rules are for the obedience of fools and the guidance of wise men.”
49. Date women outside your social set. You’ll be surprised.
50. If you find yourself using the ‘crazy ones, misfits, rebels’ Steve Jobs quote, odds are you are none of the above.
(The next one is a really good one)
61. In life, as in sports, the boos always come from the cheap seats.
62. Measure yourself only against your previous self.
64. Read more. It allows you to borrow someone else’s brain, and will make you more interesting at a dinner party — provided that you don’t initiate conversation with, “So, who are you reading…”
67. The grass is greener on the other side because it’s fertilized with bullshit.
71. If her profile pic’s an 8, she’s a 4. Move on.
72. People who always fly business class don’t post photos of themselves flying business class.
76. 80% of lottery winners go broke because 100% of lottery players are fucking idiots.
What are some of your rules for life? We all have them, so you might as well pick them consciously…
Live an authentic day!