So am doing stuff that is safe, but doesn’t lead to much.

Audiobooks.

Books.

Lessons.

Exercising, mostly at home.

Blogging.

Experimenting with Instagram (which makes me feel dumb and stubborn, but it’s safe).

Learning languages (mainly German still).

It’s what I have been doing since my earliest memories. For as long as I can remember I have displayed the same behavior. I have had the same drive. The same aspirations. The same likes and dislikes.

I can do more push-ups than when I was a four year old and back then I watched movies and didn’t listen to audiobooks and what I produce when I punch the keys of a keyboard is slightly more comprehensible and it was English back then and not German, but am being very serious now:

am just an older, sadder version of that four year old.

Even the tendency to school others was already there.

That’s perhaps the scariest observation I have ever had.

Am listening to an audiobook on general Custer.

As a four year old I watched the movie ‘Little Big Man’ which heavily features… general Custer and I reenacted the battle of the Little Bighorn over and over again with plastic toy soldiers.

Even as a four year old I have a severe weak spot for the fair sex.

I think even back then I was trying to impress people with my strong memory.

And now I sit here in my comfort zone, doing the same things I always do and with the same results.

Busy, busy, busy dissatisfaction and longing day dreams.

Is there a way to reach a so called higher level?

Am no longer surprised this blog never became a real hit.