I have boundless writing energy, but zero focus. Am running around with an axe and can’t stick to one tree to chop down. Manically running from one tree to the next without making the slightest dent.
– more politics… I have decided against this, because there is a lot of content out there that says the same thing, but – contrary to my own content – finds an audience. So in stead of writing about it myself I can share what resonates with me and touches me or hits me on a deep level. Sometimes one has to be humble and realistic. When I look at how much time I have in a day I don’t even have enough time to really react to recent events in a meaningful way. The most powerful stuff is on YouTube anyway and I am camera shy and a nitwit when it comes to using technology. So scratch this option.
– Sex stuff. It definitely gets hits. That’s a pro. I’ve been told am good at it. I have even been told that I only seem to make a real effort when am writing about sex. That’s not true. There are two, maybe three things stopping me here. I have perhaps never felt more unattractive than I do now. So for a sexually unattractive person to write about sex has a perverted vibe to it, at least it does for me. It makes me nauseatingly horny and I have no outlet for that horniness. And three, I find it quite boring and repetitive. Maybe four: all erotic stories I have ever read are entirely unconvincing and unsatisfying. I think I could write a sex novel, but I would feel weird doing it. And it would make me horny, which is something I hate to deal with.
– a novel about my rather interesting job and all the people I meet. My only caveat there is that there is no real story to tell. No plot. I could come up with a riveting plot perhaps, but right now I don’t see it. I do think that the conversations I have with students could be interesting to many people.
– am quite good at writing plays, but my problem with plays is that you need to stage a play. If nobody stages your play you have nothing. And I don’t enjoy all the hassle that comes with staging a play. I have staged my own plays and it’s so, so, so much work. I have no network, am bad at finding connections, so if I write a new play I will have to stage it myself. And then some people will like it and nothing further will happen and I will have invested a sick amount of time for almost nothing
– more letters to my son
– write in Dutch, about my life in Slovakia or my time working for the Belgian communist party (Stalinist crackpots the lot of them)
– some sort of relationship novel that would, via the characters and their conversations, bring all the topics I feel strongly about or love together in one story
– a war novel set in a fictional world but resembling our 19th century. It’s something I started in 2016. According to some it’s the best thing I have written, but I don’t believe in it myself, or am afraid I would lose myself in it and would start ignoring my working life, my business, which is my life line.