When am not teaching, am reading. German, French, Slovak, English. I haven’t read a Dutch book in years. The last one I read was ‘Intimiteit’ (Intimacy) by Paul Verhaeghe. Today am reading a German book about the JFK assassination. It’s good, but not great. It doesn’t seem to explain why JFK lookalike officer Tippit was murdered. (To perform a body swap). Nor does it explain where the fatal shot came from. (A storm drain right next to the spot where the driver briefly stopped the car, entirely against all security measures).
I teach, I read, I watched something. Since I have completely blocked YouTube on my phone I watch a lot less entertaining distraction.
I have been 100 percent caffeine free for about five days now. The first three days were terrible. I kept falling asleep. Going cold turkey on caffeine also makes me lose all willingness to live. It could take up to two months for my brain to readjust to life without caffeine.
I am convinced that caffeine gives you a fake feeling of being energized whereas all it does is bring you up to 80 percent of your former caffeine free self. I think that’s the case when you have been using for several weeks or months. The benefits wear off really fast.
I quit coffee – again – several weeks ago, but I kept the caffeine blues at bay by tanking lots of strong green tea. So strong in fact that I felt some pressure in my kidney area every day. But the buzz I get from green tea is not as fun as the one I get from coffee. Especially coffee mixed with milk. The downsides are pretty shitty though. Especially since I just keep cranking up the dose. On coffee I wake up feeling battered. During the day my body seems to be on fire on the inside. I cannot focus. I have a million ideas that I jot down feverishly and not much gets done. I overeat. Probably because I am zonked and the eating is necessary to keep my sleep deprived brain happy.
With no caffeine in my system I can cut back on food intake fairly easily.
Apart from my students, Zuzi and Bruno I do not see anybody. I don’t go out unless to teach or to go shopping or to let Bruno run around.
I get tested for covid every week. Usually on Thursday. The testing center is located 150 metres from my doorstep. I get the result per sms.
I have stopped wearing masks outside. I only wear them in the bus, the tram or in shops.
Since I have discovered how easy it is to have your groceries delivered to your doorstep I don’t intend to do much shopping.
A student asked me if I had plans to go and drink beer on a terrace. They are opening again.
I have no such plans. I stopped drinking alcohol – again – on the 29th of March.
Life has become a bit like living in a monastery. I have even developed my own form of praying. Though am not very good at it.
It’s like life has always been like this.