1. You are walking to the bus stop. Then, joy of all joys. There is a stretch ahead of you and you are all alone. In a reverse bank robber move… you pull your mask down. You inhale the crisp early morning Spring air.
2. A lot riskier and a lot more iffy in its rewards. You compliment a girl on her looks. Without ending up in jail!!! Hurray for you. You danger loving rascal. Another bullet dodged.
3. Ok, now we are landing in life threatening areas: you could also ask a girl out on a date. In 2050 this will result in instant government sanctioned castration, but in 2021 you can still get away with it. In some backward countries the girl may even agree to it. You know, sometimes they haven’t broken out of the stockholm syndrome process that the evil patriarchat has bestowed on them.
4. You could… buy nothing today. No internet shopping to fill that achy void inside.
5. You could delete your social media and discover how much your mind thanks you for it. After about two weeks of horrid withdrawal symptoms usually involving you waking up and frantically scrolling your pillow and hitting imaginary like buttons with your heels.
6. You could avoid all covid related news and refuse to sound like just another ad hoc epidemiologist.
7. At the bus stop you can inch closer and closer to another person waiting there just until they get nervous, pull their mask on tighter and give you the ‘are you trying to kill me, dude?’ stare.
8. You casually utter to people complaining they can’t work at home with the schools closed and the kids home that nobody forced them to have children.
9. You could whisper the world’s best kept secret: nobody does any real work while ‘home officing’ and all work meetings are pointless other than to monitor to what degree you will allow yourself to be fucked over to toe the line at work. Work meetings are a control mechanism.
10. Quit your job, buy a cheap farm in an Eastern European country. Live out your days in peace. Don’t make a YouTube channel about it.