All people everywhere can be enjoyed only in a very limited dosage. Rare is the person that will be able to make you feel happy that this person is interacting with you and vice versa.
I find that when two people come a little closer to each other very soon one or both of those two people will want to run the hell away. Or will just stop caring as if that other person was just a wilted flower that provided some pleasure for a day or three.
This dynamic can be suppressed by making it legally and also socially hard to separate (marriage) or by making it financially daunting (buying a house together) or by the risk of messing up people by separating (having kids) or because parting ways exposes you to more danger (having a common enemy) or – VERY effective – by the fear of being alone or because you need each other to make money or be creative (be in a band together, in a sports team or when you are a comedy duo or something like that).
It also greatly boosts the longevity of a relationship when one is paying the other for services or products the other craves or needs. In all other cases human interactions have a very short expiration date. Soon rot sets in. Whether it’s ‘friendship’ or a sexual relationship. When two people meet they are destined to be fed up with each other. This feeling can be instant or the road to it can be dragged out. Sometimes it can take several years, even when none of the above conditions apply to bind two people together.
A common reaction is to close one’s self off from any further human interaction beyond the strictly necessary. This seems like a very promising solution, except that as humans we do need interactions. It’s like a necessary evil.
People come and go. Some stay for a few hours, some for a few days, some for a few years, in very rare cases you can have pleasant exchanges for decades (maybe when you don’t see each other TOO often).
Communicating with people is very hard. They are hypersensitive, have big egos, easily take whatever you say as an insult or as some sign that they are not good enough,people are automatic manipulation machines who will try any tactic to make the other person behave more in the way serves them.
When you are very nice to people they lose interest, because no human wants to be a member of a club that accepts him or her as a member. People also fear being taken advantage of and so they are careful. For good reason because people are only in touch with you because they are getting something out of it. As soon as you fail to deliver what they are after, even briefly, they ghost you, ditch you, forget about you. If you’re lucky they vanish without shitting all over you.
Sometimes you meet someone who can can’t get enough of you, but you would be fine hearing from this person only once or twice a year.
Sometimes you meet someone and you can’t get enough of him/her, but that person finds you only mildly entertaining and this only occasionally.
In today’s society you don’t really need anyone to survive. If you have a way to make money you can totally make it on your own. You don’t need loyal members of your tribe to beat a giant bear to death with sticks and stones and some sort of improvised hatchet. I’m sure you can order bear meat in 25 flavors and sauces on Amazon. This makes relationships more fragile than they ever were in all of human history. Our economy is now also set up in a way that there is often not much time to form lasting bonds. Our work life has become very fluid.
People come into my life and stay until I heal them.
Or they stick around for as long as I can make them laugh.
Or until I kick them out of my life because they are using me way more than they are giving me anything I have any use for.
Or they stick around until something better comes along.
Sometimes I move on without any qualms leaving someone in misery and crying over me and sometimes I get the ice cold treatment.
There is joy in meeting people and it’s also hell on earth.
Not meeting people and never building a bond – however fragile and fleeting and painful – is a cause of suffering as well. Ok, it may protect you from the biggest hurts, but it will also make the biggest joys impossible.
So yeah, we are doomed to jump from one burning house to the next. Learning something along the way. Hopefully not losing the motivation to make the jump to the next one when the last one has crumbled yet again.
Am fine with the fact that I have listened – for free – to many people’s tales of how they were sexually abused as children, how they were victimized, how their parents drank, how they need to be buttfucked by shemales because their mother was incapable of hugging them, how they are stuck in their career, how they wished something more for themselves, how their children caused them massive pain, how their partner beat them, gaslighted them, tortured them, cheated on them, denigrated them, or does not satisfy their sexual needs. And so on and on. I just sometimes, perhaps often, wish I had got something more out of it for me.
These are almost always stories where someone else is the bad guy. I find it very suspicious that it’s always the victims that confide in me. You wonder where all the bad guys and bad chicks go with their side of the story.
I actually don’t wonder at all. Everyone is the bad person in someone else’s story. Me too, I suppose. Probably in the stories of people I hardly ever think about. And vice versa.
If human interaction would be mostly great and nice there would almost be no movies and no novels, no stories.
How many movies and series are watched just to compensate for what one lacks in real life interactions with people?
One bright side is that it makes death an acceptable prospect. I mean, it’s quite interesting to be alive and I have a super curious mind, I NEED to learn new stuff practically every second am alive, but humans don’t make life fun or exciting or fulfilling enough to stick around for. No, I don’t see a reason to cling to life longer than I have to. Too many people are just way too disapointing. Too often I regret reaching out to someone. Just as I am most likely very disapointing to many other people.
One can hope for exciting and fulfilling encounters and bonds, but the older one gets the less likely it becomes.
It’s because your bullshit radar gets too fucking good to waste more time on some other dickhead or ungrateful leech.