My male friends have always had a feminine side. This is not to say that they are gay – some of them are, but most are not- , as some people might immediately assume, it just means they care more and are less about me, me, me, meeee.
And this is not to say that all men are like this. I know some truly wonderful men who every day of their life are striving hard to make this world a better place, BUT, they are really exceptions. And if you are a man and you are reading this it’s highly probable you are one of those exceptions.
I avoid men as much as possible because:
- Men try to force their opinions on me. When I don’t agree with them, they even unfriend me. I have lost friends over Venezuela, American foreign policy and over economic views. To name just a few examples. I have never lost a female friend because we had a different opinion on something. I have lost female friends, but it was never because of a debate.
- Most men I meet are tactless and inconsiderate. They just blurt out whatever they happen to think, without much nuance, without considering your perspective or situation
- Women tend to think: what’s good for the greater whole. Men seem to mainly ask the question: What is in it for me?
- As soon as I am only in the company of men, things are said that are simply disgusting. Like:’She has a really nice figure, but her face is like shit”Women don’t need to get good at anything, because they can seduce a man who can make money for them’
‘Women only smile at a man when you are wearing a tuxedo’
‘Women are just prostituting themselves to the guy who can offer them the most material comfort’
‘Women don’t create art, because they put their creativity only in trying to look good’
‘Women can’t be leaders’
‘I don’t care if they are not that pretty, you can turn them around and they have holes, don’t they?’
‘To be friends with a woman without having sex with her is just a waste of time’
- Men can be so blinded by some particular career related goal they have that they ignore everything and everyone around them that is not connected to bringing them closer to that goal. In the process they tend to ignore how much people -usually women- are doing for them.
- They often have a false belief of being in control of a situation or of a relationship. Through my job I get a lot of peaks behind the curtains of many relationships and I can tell you that many men think they know their wives, and in actual fact, they have nooooooo idea what their wives or girlfriends are doing behind their backs. This makes these men look helpless, ridiculous, comically arrogant…
- They still think they need to be Clint Eastwood tough at all times, and sorry, none of them even come to Clint Eastwood’s ankles when it comes to charisma, looks, toughness or talent…
- After a conversation with women I feel charged, buzzing with ideas, after most ‘conversations’ with men I am glad I managed to disengage and can be alone.
- They lack self-awareness, or unwilling to do much introspection, and they often escape from this by focussing on the most stereotypical male roles: make money, have drinking buddies, make ‘cool’ jokes, act tough. They hide behind this and don’t realize how obnoxious they are, because women will almost always be nice to men.
- These men claim that women are not assertive, but what is really going on is that these women are wise enough not to get into silly ego battles with men and are very careful about not hurting the fragile male ego of this era.
- Men are shameless in BORING ME TO DEATH with whatever little topic they happen to be passionate about. Whereas women seem to want to understand everything on an intuitive basis, men seem to entrench themselves in one or two topics and reduce the world to an obsession with these topics. And everyone they meet should automatically be just as interested in those topics as they are…. If I have ever bored someone to death with irrelevant details about the American Civil War I hereby wish to apologize.
- They all overestimate themselves. Perhaps nature wired us that way. Perhaps we need to overestimate ourselves so we will take risks. And nature allows us to risk doing dumb shit, because we are expendable. If we have 100 men on an island and 100 women, 99 men can die, and all the women can still get pregnant. Men are nature’s cannon fodder. Therefore it makes sense that nature would not intend men to be particularly sophisticated.
- Men must feel that ultimately I do not enjoy their company, because most fans of this website are women. EVEN THOUGH I originally set out to write a website for men. I never expected that a website that often uses, let’s say, brutal language and talks about uncomfortable topics, would appeal more to women than to men…. I think it’s because women are, in the end, just more open-minded than men and, especially, they can handle doubt and insecurity better than men. Men need concrete black or white answers and women are incredibly adept at navigating grey zones. In life this allows for much smoother sailing. Men seem to go through life like ice-breakers and women like elegant yachts. Although sometimes it’s useful to have an ice-breakers in the overwhelming majority of cases an ice-breakers is just useless and damaging.
This post is not to say that we do not need masculinity or that all masculinity is inherently wrong. It is just that the masculinity we have today is toxic.
And I did not write this text to score brownie points with women. I have enough pleasant interaction with females, I don’t need this text to get more. It’s just that especially this week I have again had so many unpleasant interactions with men that I wanted to make it clear to myself where this comes from.
To end on a positive note, see the text of this meme that I greatly support:
Treat us to a cup of coffee
If you’ve had some fun on our site, you could spread some joy of your own and support us. We are hell bent on improving the quality of this site. If you treat us to just one cup of coffee (3€) we will feel energized to raise the bar. Every donation will strictly be used to improve this website. So no, we won’t actually buy coffee. Thank you very much! PS Yes, this is a picture of Zuzi.