Before we go on I want to you to get this loud and clear: friendships between a man and a woman ARE possible without either one wanting to jump the other’s bones. Seriously. There are quite a few women who can confirm this. I most certainly do NOT try to ‘get it on’ with every woman I spend time with. In fact, it’s perfectly possible for me to have repeated dinner conversations with nice looking, witty, fun loving women WITHOUT me trying to get into their pants.
Why do I wish to stress that here?
Because I do not want anyone to think that the arrangement I had with my dear German teacher would ALWAYS and INEVITABLY play out the way it did. No, it could have gone completely without any hormonal storms, without any undeniably romantic settings and dreamy moods and without any sort of desires other than strictly friendly. I am not this lunatic predator that I sometimes paint of myself. I’m only 50 percent of the lunatic overly romantic predator that I describe here and there.
With that cleared up, I strongly encourage men and women to have all the deep, platonic friendships they can have. Sexual tension is NOT always per definition on the table when a man and a woman enjoy each other’s company.
But in this case it was. At least from my side.
This was the arrangement:
We would meet about once a week, I would buy her lunch, and we would speak German the whole time.
I swear, sometimes I don’t know why God in Her Eternal Goodness favors me.
Zuzi assumed there would be no problem, cause my German teacher was
I do not discriminate against hair color, although black is my favorite.
Nor do I discriminate against ethnicity, although Slavic, and possibly latina and Iranian women, are my favorite.
And perhaps Zuzi underestimated how sexually aroused I get from pure, refined BRAIN POWER.
My German teacher was one smart lady…
So of course I got attracted. Like an American politician to an oil field.
Actually, she was exactly my type. Maybe I have three types, but she was definitely one of those three.
By the second date, I mean, rendez-vous, I mean, lesson, I was completely blown away by her.
I deliberately picked only the best, cosiest, romantic restaurants.
God, I enjoyed her company.
She was dignified, funny, relaxed, not formal, not distant – people are so fucking prejudiced when it comes to Germans -, not arrogant, she didn’t get all dolled up, and looked like a poster girl without much make-up or any of the provocative attire some Slovak women like to prance around in. A truly solid, reliable, outspoken, direct, yet, very warm, generous Woman.
The kind of woman you just want to melt away in and forget any little speck of negativity that exists in this world.
She was married. Most married women will eventually cheat if a guy offers what she is missing. And some will just be flattered and tempted and not do it. At least not too easily.
She had to go back to Germany.
There is not ONE right person for anyone.
Zuzi is totally right for me.
And I can say that Marie was also sort of right for me.
Maybe not in the same way as Zuzi, but in her own unique way she was also right for me.
If that shocks anyone, then I suggest going cold turkey on all the Hollywoodian romantic comedies for at least a year.
As I’ve mentioned, she had to back to Germany with her family.
I will always miss our conversations in her beautiful German, and my ‘watching too many World War II documentaries’ variant of German.
Some people just… make you come alive. They are poetry in motion, and you’d do anything to make them smile and make sure they have a good time.
In the space of about 5 months we managed to go to about 12 different restaurants, some several times.
The juicy arrangement greatly advanced my knowledge of German, gave me some interesting insights into why I fall so completely for certain women, and every minute with was memorable and made me feel fucking alive.
And Zuzi deserves half a dozen statues and ‘spouse of the year’ awards for understanding all this.
And I can add that it was painful. God damn it, she was sexy. The brain, the body, her vibe…
It’s always painful when you want to steal more than you actually can.
It was like always getting to hear only a few notes of one of your favorite songs.
To the lovely lady somewhere in a small village in Germany: you were absolutely one of the highlights of this year and I will never forget you. You’ve been added to the bittersweet ‘what if’ list.
And I can recommend some decent restaurants.
In German, if you like.
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