I went to bed at 1 am or later.

I couldn’t sleep and just marched through the apartment, wondering about such things as

– a more effective diet, the war on fat is full of uphill battles, on terrain covered in cheese

– the battle of Gettysburg and Lee’s invasion of Pennsylvania and what I think he should have done in my exalted capacity as armchair general. If general Lee should be more central to the phd am trying to write.

– things I am, for once, unwilling to share

– flipping through lots of books and wondering what the point of knowing is, knowing stuff that had no direct relevance to one’s circumstances

There was more but by this point you’ve already lost attention.

I got up at 5.30 and went running.

I used run 12 kms easily, but these days I am too ashamed to count kms, I just count minutes. I ran for 30 minutes.

My shins hurt quite badly, which took most of the fun out of it, but the air tasted incredible, the wind was strong, since Bratislava is a windy city, my hair was flapping in all directions. It sort of felt good to be alive. Sort of cause we don’t want to get too crazy.

In the picture you can see where I run. I like monotony when I run. So I just go round and round. To my dissapointment I wasn’t the only one there. There was some lady I did not look at, I run without lenses anyway, she warmed up longer than I ran. If I was rich one of the first things I would buy would be a running track like this, just for me. Am selfish and defensive and wholly introvert when I run. I put on my running shoes and immediately I do not want to see a living soul anymore.

Then I walked/limped home. I read a good deal in a German book on economics.

Why? I don’t really know. Maybe I can only be sort of happy when I exhaust myself. Causes of exhaustion strictly chosen by me since I have finally accepted that I tend not to accept any authority except the one of my inner drill sergeant and of some people I respect immensely.

And most days I don’t even respect the authority of Barking Barnes, my inner drill sergeant.

The German book for those interested:

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