Because…

It’s empty!

Most temporary inhabitants of this wonderful city are gone. They are making cabbage soup and baking cookies in the villages.

The only problem Bratislava has is that it’s full of people who don’t want to be here. But at Christmas those reluctant leaches are gone! Back to where they want to be.

The most glaring tell-tale sign a Slovak national hates Bratislava is when he or she refers to this city as ‘Blava’. It kinda sounds like ‘blato’ and that means mud. It’s also a faint reminder of the Russian word ‘blatj’ which is a strong swear word. You could say it also sounds like the Slovak word for ‘wealth’, but the people who say ‘blava’ spit out, so am fairly certain they mean it in a bad way. It’s also laced with envy.

The bright lights, big city scare Slovaks. It’s the place that can make or break you and of course in most cases it breaks you.

I love abandoned Bratislava because:

  • The Christmas spirit is very mild
  • it reminds me of a Ghost Town
  • I hate crowds and I hate nature, but I love medium sized cities so at Christmas I get it all, the city, the lack of nature and no people, I can walk around like this whole place is mine. My most recurring fantasy is to be the last guy on earth with about twenty hot women. All of them Slavic – but not Polish!! – and one or two Latin American ones.
  • Public transport is deserted so every bus or tram is like your own spacious taxi
  • it’s easier to get dates because only the lonely hearts are left behind. You can especially date the foreign women who didn’t manage to travel back to their own country
  • You can go running at night
  • it’s so quiet, so peaceful
  • the depressed village people who don’t want to be here and hate Bratislava because they have to be here if they want to make money are gone and it’s like the city is like a person that feels reinvigorated after recovering from some nasty virus

I don’t like to take pictures, but in the amateuristic pic above you can see the dead bus station that is usually a bustling ant hill

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