We are watching a movie together. On the couch. At your place. We are watching About Time, a truly orginal romantic movie. And also Before Sunrise. And the more experimental romantic movie, Like Crazy. Of course, being you and me, we talk through 95 percent of the movies, and we aren’t really watching.
You keep your distance even now, as you are there, but somehow also not there, there is always something elusive about you, and I like it, there is always something to expect, uncharted territory that eternally expands.
You have a ‘don’t touch me’ vibe going on, a ‘don’t kiss me’ posture, a ‘I have low expectations, because I don’t want to be dissapointed’ look in your eyes.
Since you do not believe, I have to believe.
If I don’t pull you on my lap right now, nothing will ever happen, and I think you need it as badly as I do.
I hold you in my arms for a while, and you do not move, you’re my beautiful talking stone.
I know it’s not the real you. I know you’ve been hurt too much, I know you have turned to stone as a defensive mechanism. And what else can I do than try to rub you back to life, gently…
She has long, slender legs. She has a tiny waste. She rarely smiles and is inwardly always agitated, which shows mostly when… Well, it doesn’t really show. She seems detached, and is somehow very there with you, and somehow also far away, this allows to be washed in desire for her, like art come to life.
You can be practical, very practical and pragmatic. So I just tell you I am going to pick you up and carry you to bed.
You don’t say anything, so at the risk of being lynched by the #metoo movement, I take that as consent, and lift you up from the couch.
I lie next to you and let my hands run over your body, still covered in clothes.
For a long time I go everywhere, but carefully avoid going between your legs or touching your breasts.
I kiss your forehead, to say you are safe.
I avoid your lips, you are not ready.
Eventually I carress the insides of your thighs a lot and I let one hand go up to your groin.
I rub your vagina, for a long time, safely tucked away under your pants and knickers.
Some life comes to you. Your breathing speeds up a bit.
I slowly undress you. The top goes off. But you keep your bra on. The pants come off, but you stop me with a slight touch of your hand when I also want to remove your underwear.
I put my clothes down, I also strip down to my underwear.
I feel you freeze again, I feel your thoughts wander somewhere else.
You turn your back to me.
I pull the covers over us, because it’s kinda chilly in the room.
I move towards you and we lie like spoons, I feel your bottom pressing against my groin. I imagine you must feel that I have a bulging erection down there.
You pull the pillow close to your cheek, like you are hugging it.
Part of the thick blanket is pressed between your knees.
I can only give you time.
Any pressure now and you would freeze entirely.
In a very quiet voice I whisper in your ear that am glad to just be with you and be so close to you.
You don’t say anything.
We like like that for a very long time.
My erection is still hard, still pressed against your bottom. But that is about the only sexual aspect of our present situation.
When I have already decided that we will simply fall asleep and nothing more will happen tonight, you turn around and put a hand on the bulge in my boxershort.
‘The poor boy is very hard, isn’t he? Does it hurt?’
‘A little bit, yes:’
‘Am sorry about this. It’s my fault that it’s now big and in pain.’
You rub over my boxershort, you slide over my balls, and over my cock, but there is no skin on skin contact.
I want to do something to you to, am not so great at receiving, but I know I have to let go and let you. It’s very good what you are doing. I feel like down there an armada of little swimmers is assembling dying to storm out of there, driven by who knows what force that sparks entities with self-awareness.
I go down with one hand and caress the triangle of your knickers. You are warm and wet, I can feel it even through the textile. I think I can smell your arousal down there as well.
I move down, and start kissing you right above the ankle, I work my way up and kiss you on every spot. I skip your vagina, but I go up, up, up. I suck both your nipples while my hand is rubbing and grabbing you everywhere except between your legs. I finally see that you are feeling something.
After maybe fifteen minutes of this, I go down again and I remove your knickers. You don’t protest this time.
I don’t know you, this is the first time I am licking your vagina, and this perhaps the most intimate moment of sex for me. I don’t know what exactly you prefer, how fast, how varied, how much pressure. So I try a bit of everything. I will not determine exactly what you like from the start, but based on the sounds you are making, I imagine am not too far off.
I lick you long and slowly and I keep both hands on your breasts.
You come without making a sound and I don’t really know if you’ve climaxed, until you gently push my head away from your vagina.
‘I want you inside me’, you say.
‘Are you sure?’
I take my penis in one hand, and as if it were a pencil I draw circles in the fluid of your vagina.
You seem to enjoy this a lot. You are arching your back, you body is eager for penetration, demanding to be filled.
Before I can do anything more I feel how you are wrapping yourself around me, I feel your strong legs and arms pulling me towards you. I don’t think anyone has ever embraced me with such force. I almost can’t breathe from it and I really have to struggle to inhale. I take in your scent and it’s amazing. I can hear you sigh from relief. You are finally here with me. You have returned to me, to us, together in this bed, this bed that smells of you, making it the only place I want to be.
I slip it in slowly. It takes minutes before it is all in.
I stop and I look at you.
Eye contact is hard for you, so I bury my face in your hair.
I slowly start thrusting.
If my heart has doors, then they are swinging wide open now. I want to drink you in, I want to smash this physical barrier that is between us and merge with you. My whole body is now one big cramp of desire, of hunger for you.
I feel your pain, the things you carry with you, and I have an overwhelming impulse to make it all better for you. I kiss your forehead again. You are my girl and I want you to feel safe, I want you to be able to show yourself, I want you to feel secure, and I wish you could lose yourself in this moment we have created.
I feel a tight wall pushing against my penis. It’s like being born, squeezing through not to the outer world, but to you, the only world I wish to be in right now.
Every part of my body is now some euphoric jelly. It’s like pure life force is being blown into me, like pure light is penetrating my body and feeding every cell of me.
You keep your legs around me and you push hard, so hard, to keep me so close to you.
Your hands are gently running across my back. And am so happy, so so happy, when I hear you moaning, when I hear you are enjoying this. Better music can never exist.
I love the feeling of your skin on my skin and am honored to be here.
When I suddenly speed up, you say: ‘Sssh, sssh’ and try to make me hold still by clenching my shoulders with your firm, yet ultrafeminine hands.
I got the message so I decrease the speed.
Your moaning intensifies.
I pray that you are going to climax. Oh, God, I want nothing better than to have you climax while my penis is in you, in you, such a beautiful woman, such vibrancy, vitality, such a spontaneous, good, soul. So bruised now, so, so bruised now.
Please let this mend it, please let this bring your self-confidence and your self-esteem back to pleasureable, happy levels.
I will be in you all night, if that is what you need.
I can feel you spread your legs wider and wider. Our pubic bones are now really grinding against each other. Your back goes up more, and you cross your legs, I feel your heels pressing against my lower back.
You are now indicating the desired speed of my thrusting. When you push your heels slightly more against my back, I know I have to go in, and when you release the pressure I slip back out.
Lots is written and said about sex, but can it be denied that this must be the last piece of magic in the world? How can this feel so good? How can two people who until recently were strangers now want to get as close as possible to each other?
I feel you speed up the rhythm and your moaning becomes more intense.
I hear you say: ‘I want you to shoot me full, shoot me full, I want all of it in. Is it going to be a lot?’
‘It’s going to be really really a lot.’
‘Shoot me full. I wanna feel your penis pulsate inside me when it shoots, please, shoot, please.’
‘I want it all in you too.’
‘Yes, please. Just do it. I want it.’
As though every sensitivy I have, as though all the life that is in me, is now concentrated in my penis, in my balls, and lower belly, all I have to give you, is coming out in shockwaves.
Your moaning is out of control and you claw for me, clench your strong, smooth thighs against me, you are holding me, like you want to make sure every drop stays inside. And when I see you gasp, you have just made me the happiest man alive, you’ve also climaxed. It’s like you have reached for air and resurfaced. There is a different color to your face. Your feet felt cold on my back, but now suddenly they are like small little stoves. You keep me firmly locked for a long time. You keep me there until my penis becomes flacid and it drops out.
I am so grateful for this moment, for being here with you, it’s like all the air above me, around me, has switched on the disco lights. All the colors are more vived, more easily appreciated, warmer, nurturing even.
I grab you in my arms and pull you with your head on my chest, I caress your hair, I keep inhaling deeper to take in your smell. Am not sure what I did to deserve this, but am giddily glad I am here.
We talk about many different topics. Things that affected us personally, things that affected the world, things that seem to affected not a soul in the world except for us two.
I don’t remember which jokes we were just now telling specifically, but you have rolled on top of me. We are silent for a while, but then you reach for my penis, keep it steady with one hand, and you slide on it. You stay like that and say: ‘I just like to have it in there, to hold it there. How does it feel?’
Suddenly I feel an irrepressible appetite to taste you again, to lick your most womanly, most intimate, most out of bounds, restricted part.
With a slight push against your side with my hand, you know you should roll over. But when you see me almost lunge towards your lower areas, you stop me and show me a turning gesture with your hand.
So I turn, my feet are now facing the head stand and your legs are still facing the window.
Your middle is now in front of my mouth and my middle is in front of your sensual lips, the kind of lips that you want to touch with your fingers to check if they are real.
You make your lips wet by rubbing my glans against them, you use the abundant pre-cum to moisten them. The velvety skin of it gets a visit from your tongue. You hold only the top of it in your mouth, and your tongue is crashing around it like fleshy bolts of lightening.
I am so hungry for your pussy that I start moaning with desire for it. I lick it from the top corner to the bottom, I go up and down this slippery lane that makes me feel that this is what life is about. Giving pleasure to the people who blows us away without even trying to impress us.
After some time you do take in my whole penis in your mouth, but when I start licking you more vigorously you can’t focus on it anymore and you continue with your hand. You are jerking me off very fast and your grip is the exact intensity, just a mini squeeze away from painful.
I feel like you are trying to point my penis, and I feel like you want me to come on your breasts, so I adjust my position a bit to make sure your elegant breasts get showered with the eggwhite like blobs of warm cum. The mysterious liquid you take as physical proof that you have given me ultimate pleasure.
The feeling of the warm cum hitting your skin, seeing it spurt out, make you more aroused and you come to, with my tongue on your clit and one finger reaching in to circle your G-spot.
We stay in this position even though we have both climaxed. My head is resting on your lower belly and still sucking in the smell of your overflooded pussy.
You say: ‘You see, we do not need to do the whole kama sutra to enjoy ourselves.’
When our body temperature drops again and feel the cold biting our skin, we go back to lying like spoons with the covers of the bed pulled tight around us.
We are now overcome with the revitalizing hormones that are flushed into our systems after sex and we bask in them.
Sleep is now claiming me, I feel a comforting tingling feeling all over my body. A state telling you that all is well, for this moment, all is as you want it to be.
‘I really, really needed that’, I tell you.
And you say:
‘If you want to go far with me, you have to go slow.’