Here’s the recipe:

  • Develop your own language so that when somebody overhears your conversation it doesn’t make much sense. You don’t need a completely different language, just some key words to mask what you’re really talking about
  • Say anything, ask anything, any time
  • Lead a mutual fictional life aside from your real life, don’t just share your reality, share your imagination
  • Engage in challenging thought experiments
  • Support each other unconditionally, but always be a radically honest mirror to each other
  • Share the stuff you would be totally embarassed to share with other people
  • Show your weaknesess and insecurities just as readily as your good sides
  • Be generous
  • Don’t compromise, if in doubt between two options find a third option you are both super excited about
  • Communicate daily and leave talk about the weather to others
  • Keep surprising each other
  • Shock each other outside of your comfort zones, to simulate growth
  • Ask what you’d never ask anyone else
  • See your journey together as a adventure of discovery
  • Build a history together with a plotline that has meaning, regularly write your history together (doesn’t need to be actual writing, it will most likely be in spoken form)
  • Learn what gives the other pleasure
  • Have tender hugs and nasty sex
  • Don’t keep score of who does what for whom
  • Take risks in giving yourself, fully and always
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