My life may not be particularly exciting right now, but I’m grateful for the beautiful moments there have been. All men die, few ever lived, well, I have lived.

I’m grateful for

  • the times girls fell asleep on my chest saying that most other guys arms were soft and pudgy
  • the women I’ve met with whom I had an instant connection, stayed up all night talking and having sex with and with whom I’ve stayed friends over the years
  • every therapy client I managed to free of some of his or her burden
  • every night spent playing board games with good friends
  • every time me and my father stayed up drinking all night and talking, God, I miss the guy, he was so funny and profound in his views of humanity
  • I know I’m simple, but I do believe great sex with a person you’ve just met is the best life can give you
  • every time I had a totally open and revealing conversation with a person I really valued
  • those rare moments someone told me something truly interesting, usually they were women. Kurt Cobain: ‘Never met a wise man, if so, it was a woman’.
  • every time an intelligent person takes what I say seriously (this doesn’t happen very often, one of my best friend says that people simply don’t understand what I’m really trying to say)
  • sex, I’ve had some MINDBLOWING SEX, the downside is that everything else seems boring in comparison
  • those rare moments when I didn’t GIVE A FUCK about anything and was the true expression of who I really am and got away with it
  • those times when traumatized girls sought my embrace and said they never felt more complete than when I was hugging them
  • every girl for whom I was privileged to be the first guy that they had sex with. Not that it makes for good sex, but, wow, the level of trust involved is humbling
  • sometimes people respect my intellect and give me an opportunity
  • I love sex and ‘rapid escalation’, so every time sex happened between me and a woman I had met only recently
  • the time a married woman started dancing for me in a night club, followed me home, and we had the most sensual experiences while her husband – a military officer- was on a holiday
  • that my parents believed in me
  • that my father was proud of the women I brought home
  • that I had the time and the opportunity to read enough history books to sort of understand why humans are so fucked
  • some people have told me that talking to me for ten minutes did more for them than years of therapy, and though I’m sceptical about the compliments I get, I have no doubt that they were right
  • although my university degree turned out to be useless, I’m glad that I got the college experience, and that my parents did everything they could, from a very early age, even before I was born, to prepare me to go to  college and get a university degree, the first to do so in my family, on my mother’s side
  • I’m grateful that I’ve had the astonishing and extremely rare opportunity in the history of mankind to spend so many thousands and thousands of hours doing nothing else except watching tons of movies, reading articles, reading books, playing boardgames with friends, eating good food in restaurants, having interesting conversations, etc. I can actually say that in many ways I have lived a more comfortable, more stimulating (certainly mentally) life than even the richest kings in history
  • the times that me and my adopted brother were walking around, laughing, ALL THE TIME, really, laughing, laughing, wherever we went. Man, we had a lot of fun.
  • the period in my life in which I had really found an even match for me, as an adversary in complicated strategic board games, but also as to intellectual discussions (Sir Randy Laevens)
  • the women, ah, the women, the amazing women I’ve had the privilege to meet and celebrate their existence with, yes, mainly the women, mainly the women… I will probably never understand what makes me so happy when I’m getting to know a stunning woman

I have actually managed to surprise myself with the length of this list…

I must be one of those narcissists who only appreciate things when they’re gone’, Kurt Cobain wrote in his suicide note.