Narcissists will tell you they love you, perhaps even more easily and more often, than others, but what does it mean? It definitely doesn’t mean the narcissist will take care of your needs unconditionally, if a narcissist ever takes care of your needs it’s because it makes him or her look good, or he enjoys the impact he has on you. It’s very conditional, the moment you make him feel less good about himself, diminish his standing in the eyes of others, he will use a different strategy to get what he craves: to feel better than others.
Here’s what a narcissist is really saying when he says ‘I love you’…
- I love how I can turn your world into a world that revolves around me
- I love how I can influence your mood
- I love how you are an extra in the movie in which I play the main character
- I love how I can turn you into a jester and loyal subject at my royal court
- I love how when I am at fault, you will so easily come to think it’s actually your fault
- I love how I can always convince you that you are to blame for any negative dynamic between us
- I love how I can make you feel inferior AND can make you accept your inferior role
- I love how I can do whatever I want and you will somehow keep supporting and defending me no matter what
- I love how you will do everything for me, but people around us will still think that I’m actually the star of our relationship
If the narcissist gets all of the above consistently and easily he may even stop ‘loving’ the person and move away, lose interest, because if he gets his way a little too easily, it stops feeding his ego, stops propping up the mask that protects him or her from being truly seen.