Don’t respect anyone that doesn’t respect you back
Do not avoid face to face conflict. Embrace it
Conflict might actually lead to real friendships and real relationships, being nice to people all the time amputates any balanced, nurturting contact there could possibly be, and at some point you’re going to explode or implode and hate yourself for being a pretender.
Stop being nice to people you can’t stand. Stop being two-faced.
If you don’t like someone, then don’t pretend to like them. Do not purposefully hurt them, but don’t sell yourself cheap by sucking up to them for heaven’s sake.
Stop thrash talking people behind their backs, it’s the way of cowards, say what you think to people’s face or shut up about it
This is NOT an free pass to purposefully go around hurting people’s feelings, but don’t simmer in anger, if someone is talking bullshit in your presence don’t pretend it’s not bugging the hell out of you.
Gossip dies when it reaches a wise person’s ears
No comment required.
Don’t waste time with conflict in online discussions with strangers online, they never lead anywhere
People form their opinions on matters instantly and THEN look for arguments to back those gut level opinions up. It’s almost impossible to convince anyone about anything beccause our opinions are linked to our egos, our subconscious loyalty to parents, our identity and people we look up to. Especially over the internet it’s almost impossible to convince someone about your point of view if that person has the exact opposite point of view. If you want to convince someone you need to basically embrace their identity first… Which can be tricky.
Stop unfollowing people just because they don’t share your opinion
At least consider the eventuality that maybe, just maybe, you might be wrong about something. Debate with an open mind and find out.
Stop ghosting people, have the guts to say why you’re cutting them out of your life
Quit all your addictions, cut off every one of your escape avenues
Do surrender all your power and self-worth to someone just because you’re dazzled by that person’s looks
If you’re doing it for the likes your shit is broken
If I would find encouragement to blog in the number of likes I get on this blog, I might as well have quit entirely months ago
Some people are in a phase of their lives where they wlll only respect power and will mistake your kindness for weakness
Sometimes you have to use the stick and sometimes the carrot, with people like these you need to wield the stick and when they become more cooperative and responsible, the carrot.
Learn to spot people who will only call you when they’re down or need something
Willem Van Den Bossche, fuck you man.
If you are a nice person, immature folks WILL take your kindness for weakness
Double down on your unfair advantage
Everyone has an unfair advantage. Double down on it, strike gold, give it your best shot.
Figure out your unfair advantage for yourself
If people around you say you have it in you to be a doctor, but you would rather win a videogame championship, because you excel at that and it makes you happy, go for the videogame championship. Of course, if you’re only avoiding med school because you’re scared, not because you don’t care, figure out what makes you come alive
Do what makes you come alive
If you’re doing something and it makes time fly, you feel very anchored in the moment and you have pleasant vibrations all through your body, you’re doing something that makes you come alive. Do everyone a favor and do more of that.
Spend time with people who make you come alive
The same as the above, but with people with you.
Ditch the dicks, filter out people who drag you down
If someone in your life has been a consistent dick for a couple of months, chances that they’ll change our very unfavorable, ditch the dicks.
Reading more than 5 self-help books is a severe form of either procrastination or of being a very slow learner. The same goes for binge watching motivational videos.
They all say the same things, just in dfferent forms, with different stories to illustrate the flimsy wisdom.
GET SOME ACTUAL WORK DONE
People posting on Facebook about all their accomplishments? Don’t take them seriously, those who are actually working don’t have time nor the need to convince anyone they are working and getting shit done.
Avoid commenting on people’s Facebook shit, and if you have to comment, READ WHAT THEY POST BEFORE YOU COMMENT
You do not choose your opinions, they come from your parents, your friends, your school and the usually one-sided sources of information you look for that only confirm what you already think. Snap out of the mental comfort zone.
If you want to experience more, then yes you will have to leave your comfort zone
If you’re happy in your comfort zone, then by all means stay in your comfort zone
I see people who are happy with what they have chase stuff they don’t really want, only because they see others do it
Know thyself and stay true to yourself. Say no to manipulative behavior immediately. Don’t sell yourself cheap.
Years ago I landed my dream job. Or one of my dream jobs. It involved work as a journalist for a small propaganda paper. After passing all their tests, and some pulling of strings by someone on the inside who happened to like me, I got the job. Yes!!!! Me so happy!!!! Right after being hired I was told that I would be working for them, but that my paycheck would be coming in a brown enveloppe. I was to stay on unemployment benefits and they would throw 750 euro on top of my unemployment benefits. Theoretically not a bad deal as I got quite a lot of money that way, since I wasn’t a real employee they were rather relaxed, if not outright ignorant as to my working schedule. I felt very bad about this arrangement from day one, because I felt like I was swindling the Belgian state out of money to ultimately turn destroy that state or at least it’s political system. The newspaper was the revolutionary kind, or at least the people working there thought they had a chance to cause a revolution in Belgium. It messed up my life for years and I kept a lot of anger inside all that time, becaue of this sleazy arrangement. I started hating every aspect of it, even the writing part, one of my top three passions in life… Ultimately I got fired because I was basically on an Italian strike (I only did what I was told to do and nothing else, which makes for a very bad employee) and I made fun of my communist bosses, especially the one that seemed a lot like myself at the time. You could say that I made quite a bit of money during that time, I must have added 10.000 euro to my avings account in a relatively short time, but who knows where life would have taken me if I had been true to myself?
Bottom line: no good will come of you betraying yourself and going along with situations that smell fishy.
By the way, the experience was not entirely negative, I did learn a lot about communism, the workings of marxist-leninist party, the hypocrisy at the root of the party I worked for, politics, the Belgian media, journalism, money, Belgian institutions, propaganda techniques, some French, even the law and many other topics. It was also interesting to see what kind of people are attracted to a stalinist party…
Shake off the guilt in your ‘guilty’ pleasure
If you enjoy something, then by all means, enjoy it to the full.
Don’t do anything by half
If you love someone, then don’t hide the fact that you love them, love them to bits, show them you love them. If you want to accomplish a goal, work your ass off. If you choose to have a job than give it your all. If you choose to be a jobless ‘entrepreneur’ than take it bloody seriously.
Treat your body like a temple
Treat everything as though it’s a gift
Always ask yourself, what if this were a gift? Any shitty thing that happens to you has a bright side and at least a lesson you can take from it.
Good therapy is totally worth every penny
Sometimes I meet people and they tell me 40 euro for a 50 minute therapy session is a lot.
It’s worth every cent.
It’s totally worth skipping dinner in a restaurant, not bying a couple of bottles of expensive wine, not buying a sweater or a new pair of pants, not going to the cinema for a while. Hell, none of those things will ever do you as much good as good therapy will.
It has to be good therapy though, so carefully research what good therapy is, where to find a good therapist in your area and take it seriously, keep going, it’s long and tough process.
And it’s one of the best investments you can make.
Women fall for self-confidence above all things
I’m not going to repeat this, read it here.
Guys, stop jerking off if you’re over 20
You WILL lose your drive, you WILL become more timid around women, you WILL underperform in bed. There are huge benefits to not masturbating if you’re a guy.
Boycot (PPP) porn, prostitution
Prostitution is just paying people to rape them.
Find your IKIGAI
It’s the most important thing you could ever find, except for true love, you can read about it here
Aggressively kick out thoughts that do not serve you
If you’re not careful your mind will get cluttered. You clean up your house, so clean up your mind as well. So many thoughts do not serve us at all, kick them out. It’s really that easy. Just sweep, sweep, kick, kick, all thoughts that do not help you along in life, out they go.
ASK THE GIRL/GUY OUT
If you spot someone you truly like, don’t let them slip away.
Do one thing at a time
Mulitasking is bullshit. Even if you’re a woman. Maybe it was invented by the corporate industry to pile even more work and deadlines on your slumping shoulders, maybe it was invented by people who didn’t want to really focus on anything, maybe it’s because it’s so addictive to bathe your mind in a cocktail of conflicting impulses, we are a society addicted to distraction that experiences silence (and a possible confrontation with the Self) as torture.
FINISH WHAT YOU START
Stop telling people what you plan to do :: Show the result not the plan
It will undermine your drive, because we confuse our goals with our accomplishment. If you voice a goal, it already feels a little bit as an accomplishment. Especially because people are willing to give you likes on social media for what you PLAN to accomplish. Don’t do it. Show the result, not the plan.
Don’t go through newsfeeds
If you put something out there, work on quality, not quick fix attention seeking
I’m very guilty of breaking this rule.To make this a really good post, I need to work on it for two more months, almost daily. I didn’t. That’s why you won’t be sharing this post and will only skim through it.
Don’t interact with people out of boredom, just because there’s nobody else around
Stop using just anyone the way a child uses a pacifier. My best friend, for example, finds it impossible to be alone, he needs company to suck on, like a baby will suck on its thumb.
If you love someone, don’t hide it, tell them
Even if you think it must be obvious to them that you love them, tell them anyway, don’t leave a shadow of a doubt about it.
If you fuck up, accept the responsibility for it and really apologize
Few people realize this, but you can actually admit you’ve made a mistake and not burst into flames of shame. It’s actually quite liberating.
A huge weight fell from my scrawny shoulders when I simply accepted that I’m average in most areas of life, below average in some others, and above average in only a couple. Perhaps you should try the same. But if you’re reading this, you’re probably not the kind of person that needs to hears this sort of advice
If your girlfriend can reach 5 or more orgasms in one sex session, perhaps you should give her those 5 orgasms, instead of falling asleep after only one or none at all
It’s kinda close to a form of violence, it’s certainly a form of insulting neglect, not giving your girlfriend orgasms. Of course, don’t hunt for those orgasms to give yourself an ego boost. Do it because you want to see her happy.
The G-spot exists, learn to stimulate it
STOP READING ADVICE ON THE INTERNET AND GO MAKE SOMETHING HAPPEN
Start by giving someone a genuine compliment for example. It costs nothing and it will give both you and the receiver a rush of refreshing endorphines.