Am about to go to sleep. It’s Saturday and it’s late. Way past midnight. I check my messages one last time before heading to bed, a bad habit, I know, but this time it might have paid off.
It went a little like this.
It’s Jacob, and now that his interview is online, he’s got a battery of questions for me to answer. This is a day or two after he’s offered me a free coaching session.
He asks me all sorts of deep rooting (uprooting?) questions that I actually have to think about before I can grace them with an answer that makes sense.
Eventually I say something like: ‘Whenever I see am half way to some success, I stop. Maybe I fear real success, but I think it’s because I’m lazy. Like these blog posts I do, it seems like I’m very active, but they don’t take me much effort, I’m lazy.’
‘Bullshit, you’re not lazy, you’re distracted. You don’t focus on what’s essential, you do too many blog posts.’
‘Yes, I agree. The one with the ‘Jude’ star for example, cut, but not essential.’
‘That’s what I was thinking too. You have to write what is essential. And let go of the outcome. Don’t sweat trying to guess what will get you readers or not. That’s exactly what’s stopping you from writing what will resonate with readers. Let it go. You’re not focussing on the process, you’re focussing on the outcome and that’s limiting you.’
‘Yes, but I’m also lazy. I could dig much deeper to write a post, but I don’t. Am basically thinking out loud when I do a blog post.’
‘Imagine what your life would look like when you’ve reached your potential. Do you see it?’
‘Yes, I see it.’
‘What is so scary about it?’
‘The amount of work involved. Or the risk of putting in -even- more effort without any results.’
‘Focus on what’s essential, don’t fret about the statistics.’
‘When you say the word essential, I immediately see a different kind of blogs posts I could write, but they would require a lot more effort.’
‘Look, our world will one day just blow up, implode, or get sucked into a black hole, or whatever, none of it matters, take things less seriously, have more fun with it, see how much you can hack reality. It’s all a fleeting illusion anyway. Put in more time, define a target audience, use more media thant just this blog, have them overlap and interconnect.’
Key take away: I’ll post less of the redundant stuff, and more of what I think is essential.
But since I’m distracted by many things, I’m not so sure what that ‘essence’ is for me.
That’s why I’m reading ‘Your one word’, by this guy.
It would be mighty handy to find one word that connects all the things I find important, one word to define what drives me exactly. I could then focus much more on it, and dig a lot deeper.
Now my mind runs in all kinds of directions, am like a little overactive kid let loose in a garden on a day that he skipped his retaline pills, stopping at every little grasshopper, honey bee, blade of gras and ant hill.
In short, I’m pretty active, but not effective.
Thanks to Jacob for the long overdue bombshell!
You could say that it’s not really anything new, but I needed to hear it, and thanks to Jacob’s bulldog approach to coaching the message finally came through.