It’s ridiculously daunting to practice day game and to seduce random attractive women on the street. Absolutely. And I admire the discipline with which the best pick up artists have worked on their ‘craft’. And how they have uncovered how attraction works, what turns women on and what turns them off in the first stage of meeting someone new.

Congratulations, you guys rock, also in the way you’ve created a successful business out of it with a booming media artillery to promote yourself and to spread your knowledge and passion.

One thing I find to be sorely lacking in the pick up community is what the hell a bloke should do when he’s afflicted with the most debilitating/uplifting fever in the world:

When he falls in love.

There’s no subscription for that, and no pill.

It does not come with a handy on and off switch.

There’s no explanation for it, the heart just goes crazy, the loins go into an excruciating cramp and your brain is swimming in pungent chemicals that hook you to a person, even if that person hardly ever talks to you.

What to do?

None of the usual pick-up techniques work, like showing value, staying on top of her, displaying self-respect, drawing borders, not taking shit from her, leadership, all that, it all goes out the window.

What you’re left with is shaking in your boots every time you see her, and being convinced that the world can go to hell if it’s so cruel as to keep you apart from that person.

You start to act like a raving malaria ridden bonobo. Your thoughts bow down to the Imperial Thought of Her that squashes every other thought under her high heels.

You wish to snap out of it, get your brain back somehow, but there’s no escape.

So what to do?

You are in fact drugged. You are not in control anymore, the hormones and chemicals rule the place.

Since you’ve been brainswashed with ‘the knight goes through a terrible ordeal, suffers through it, prevails and gets the girl’ stories, you wrongly assume that if you just suffer enough you’ll eventually get to be with her. And then never ending bliss. See the Notebook for example.

The reality is quite different.

You just suffer.

The chemical cocktail gives you excess energy and an eye for detail that would normally be spent on her, but if she doesn’t want any of it, then you’re stuck with it and you have to get it out somehow.

If you do not get it out, it will turn against you. You’ll start drinking, you will be irritable, cranky, depressed, destructive, down, delirious, you’ll take it out on those close to you.

The other option is to eject the energy outwards and express yourself, create something, go running, give the energy and inspiration to other people.

It does not serve you in terms of seduction. Women don’t want to be with men that are totally smitten with them. That’s what movies tell us.

In reality they go for men who just happen to take them, with very little of the romantic fluff. They go for men that they need to qualify themselves for, that they feel challenged by.

That’s why pick-up artists are so succesful, they go about as if they are the catch, as if they are the prize, not the women, and the women fall for it, because like all people they do not want what’s handed to them, they only want what they need to struggle for in order to get it.

Falling in love pulls the rug right out from under your seduction chances, because it embraces a person fully, the person has already qualified herself, you are no longer a challenge. As a result the person takes her distance, because there’s nothing to be gained anymore. There’s no meat on the table anymore.

The solution?

Sometimes there really isn’t a solution.

You have to deal with it and keep moving.