How can I offer value to the world without devaluating myself?

How can I avoid my kindness being mistaken for weakness? That’s a tricky one.

I dream of some luxury -my own private fully equipped fitness room and/or personal trainer would be nice for example – without becoming oblivious to other people’s discomforts.

Should I care if I’m judged when I fall in love? And why can’t love be perceived as positive, always, with no culturally influenced restrictions?

Can we have a society where sex is finally entirely lifted of its ‘evil’ reputation?

Sometimes I think people just hate people having sex because they’re envious of people having sex.

Does the world become a better place if you speak what’s in your heart at all times?

Can we ever close the gap between our stone age brain and rapidly evolving technology? Can we get rid of obsolete social patterns?

More social freedom. The courage to talk to strangers we find ourselves drawn to. The courage to tell people we care.

The courage to speak a desire.

The courage to admit a desire without becoming forceful about satisfying it.

The body I had as a 24 year old.

Getting to know people.

Encouraging people to open up more.

A new and better therapy practice.

To not have to suffer fools, at least not every day.

To not feel like a 34 year old fool.

A routine I can stick to, and is demanding enough to take pride in it.

A lot more organisational skills.

The courage to finally do what I want to do. It’s not even that big a deal what I want to do, but it means the world to me, so it scares the hell out of me.

A much more structured blog.

Ditching my Jonah complex. I fear success most of all. Like the latest example: I notice I got 1,000,000 views on Quora in six months and this blog got 15,000 views in 6 years (!), yet I stop posting on Quora and start posting much more on this blog.

Being a mentor to people who seek me out as a mentor. Staying level-headed in the face of such responsibility.

Having a mentor, without worshipping him/her.

The ideal name to call my first born son.

If it’s actually such a good idea to pass on genes when you haven’t exactly reached the top of Maslow’s pyramid yet.

My own turf. My own territory. A work space where I decide about the rules. Rules that would hopefully not flow from ego but from a desire to help others thrive.

Leniency without encouraging slacking.

People not doing to others what they don’t want others to do to them.

That people would not ‘ghost’ anyone and would at least have the decency to tell them why they wanted to part ways. (I have ghosted people myself, years ago, and am not proud of it.)

That friendships, if they have to end, would end with a jovial and affectionate farewell.

Relationships that are more about growth than restrictions.

No criticizing without offering an alternative or without offering to look for an alternative together.

That people would realize that ‘hurt people hurt’ is a very real and very destructive dynamic.

That those who don’t want to do anything would stop getting in the way of those who do want to accomplish something. M

No binary bullshit like American politics.

No left wing right wing talk, they are really two wings of the same bird.

Something like a resource based economy.

Less painful ways to find out who your best associates are.

Less chaos.

Less personal chaos.

Less walls between people. Less formality.

Less egotism.

More – genuine- modesty.

More laughter, much more laughter.

A whole different kind of traffic. Cars are bank loans on wheels and cars stress, kill and function as ego extensions.

I’m not a car lover, but I don’t mind if you are.

Less animals suffering. Am not vegan, but if it would be more practical, I would be. I have too much chaos in my life to throw a rather unpractical vegan eating pattern into the mix. Cheap eggs and cheap milk are the reasons I get to sort of surive these days.

More people taking the time to really get to know people.

That the best insights of psychology would be used more to help us and less to sell us more stuff.

Far more people at my dinner table.

Less books, more face to face conversations.

Less people addicted to distraction.

Far less less fear of intimacy and vulnerability.

That I could pass on my freedom of any stage fright in return for being able to be at ease in a setting I’m not the center of. (Or are those two states of mind two sides of the same coin?)

The realization that sugar and alcohol are far more dangerous substances that previously thought.

That ADD and ADHD are just symptoms of a society that pumps us full with the wrong priorities, distractions, stress factors and unhealthy foods.

People not laughing in your face when you make an effort for them.

Less judges.

More openness and honesty about our own sins.

More people who will race to the supermarket to win the banana challenge, just for the fun of it (see the previous post)