One of my students turns 16 today. If I had a bright side and a dark side at that age, then this guy seems to have only that bright side. Which kinda sets me thinking about what I could have done differently back then.

I like to explore ‘ifs’ as opposed to some icy cold stoic people.

1. Drink more water

I can’t believe you’re not drinking anything in school, because you don’t want to use the school toilets.

Not drinking makes your brain foggy all day. You get lots of headaches.

2. Ditch all sugar

3. Spend your summers differently

Go to a language camp or something. Or travel alone, why the hell not?

What has reading books ever done for you?

Go to the United States.

4. Ditch all video games

5. Don’t go to events you hate

Clubs, Carnaval, don’t go there.

6. Don’t go for girls you’re only mildly attracted to because you think you can get those

It shouldn’t take you six years to find out that it’s a far better strategy to only go for the women that take your breath away.

Because they feel how much you really want them, and you’ll act differently around them, more from the heart, less from the head.

7. Move out of the house sooner

You’re depressed partly because of your surroundings, move to Gent one year sooner.

8. Go and study psychology

No history, no languages. Bloody waste of your time. Fun, but a waste of your time. Find some more useful way to prove to the neighbours that you’re smart. Trying to prove you’re smart to people you don’t even like is not that smart by the way.

9. Start writing plays, don’t write short stories

You are good at writing dialogue, you’re not good at writing short stories.

10. Reading about war will not add anything to your life

It’s just an other distraction

11. Go see a therapist, not a psychiatrist

The psychiatrist will just try to get pills into you, which you will refuse anyway. Go see a therapist who actually listens.

12. After you graduate you will be incompatible with Belgium

Leave the country immediately upon graduation.

13. If you happen to meet a certain girl with naturally black hair and blue eyes

Don’t cheat on her. It’s soooo not worth it and will fuck you up for years.

14. Stop being so God awful negative! If you don’t like something, change it!

Yeah, school as we know it sucks, but, God damn it, there are so many opportunities to make it better. Grab them. Take more initiative. Go make something happen instead of complaining about everything.

One day you will have students and you will LOVE the positive ones, whereas the negative ones will just look like charity cases.

Stop looking like a charity case.

Go start something. (You’re an ENTJ)

15. Wear your hair long and wear lenses

People greet you, but you don’t see them because you’re too vain to wear glasses and too lacking in initiative to try lenses.

You look much better with long hair and only the women you are attracted to like men with long hair, so it’s a move that will pay off big time.

Also, it’s cheaper, less haircuts needed.

16. Build a business right now

There are golden opportunities out there, but you’re missing out because you’re being negative, watching television, playing video games and reading books that won’t help you at all.