This year alone I have changed my Twitter profile something like 20 times. Yes, I’m experimenting with Twitter, which is ok, but it’s also a sign of a still ungoing identity crisis. Or at least a sign of not knowing how to be attractive on social media. Since nothing I do online attracts much attention, it dawned on me that I should simply be authentic.

And there’s the rub. How would that look like? Me being autenthic on Twitter?

Should I tweet about sexual desire? Send of a serious question about the American civil war every two hours? Should I clamor for social justice and a humanist economy? Should I take pictures of my diary written in longhand and post those?

And what if I still don’t get reactions to those things? Is the conclusion then that my authentic self isn’t interesting? Will that heighten my feelings of redundancy?

Is the simple fact that I am on Twitter the most clear proof of not being authentic? I mean, my desire for deep emotional and intellectual interacting is very real and authentic, but Twitter is about the worst place to turn to if you want those, isn’t it?

Yup, Twitter is my very lazy, and rather autistic, way to spice up my social life.

It’s not working. Let’s not use it that way anymore. Let’s just tweet about stuff I support and care about and forget about getting 100,000 followers. I don’t have the right mojo or x factor or credentials or whatever going on to pull that off.

And perhaps that’s fine. Perhaps I should invest time and energy in cultivating relationships with 20 real people and not try to win over 100,000 Twitter accounts. If you can’t hug them, give them head, penetrate them, have a pillow fight, go for a jog with them, then what’s the point anyway?