Have passed through all the safety controls at Charleroi airport (sneakily called Brussels airport, even though it’s about as close to Brussels as Richmond, Virginia is to Washington, D.C.). I’ve passed the terrorist trap. My shoes beeped, which they never do, but now they did. Must be the iron in the snow they’ve sucked up the past two days.

I’m not a terrorist, but I can think of any number of ways to inflict serious damage to the bird waiting outside. Not least of which is using the jenever (some form of Belgian brandy) as a molotov cocktail. I mean, BEFORE you get to the airport shops there exists a wide ranging list of items you could potentially use to bring down the aircraft. The very same items you can very easily buy AFTER the security check ups. Apparently they only sell non flammable alcohol. A whole team of chemists must have been involved coming up with safe airport liquor.

I have loaded up on jenever for the kind folks in Slovakia who are ever curious about local Belgian products, so I hope they don’t mind this sort of alcohol can’t he used as improvised anti tank weapon in case the ukrainian- russian conflict spills over across Slovakian borders.

Now I’m waiting for the bording process to start. I’m in the ‘priority’ section. For some reason I’m considered a priority. Of course, half of the passengers here are randomly assigned priority tickets, and it doesn’t mean anything, but still I’ll experience a tiny feeling of superiority when us priority people walk past the non-priority people. We humans are so easily tricked. Divide this group randomly in red and blue teams to no obvious purpose and immediately the red and the blue will experience feelings of competitiveness and we’ll start displaying antagonistic behavior.

Why am I saying this? Probably because I would like to know all the many subtle and not so subtle way the airport designers are trying to influence us right now. And it won’t end till we land. On board they are going to try and sell me stale food, overpriced sugary drinks, perfume (quite handy in these smelly planes) and lottery tickets “for a good cause”.

Ow just bugger off! I never buy anything on a plane. I’m so smugly immersed in my reading or writing that the flight attendents never even try. Humans do pick up loads and loads of non verbal signals easily and constantly. I think that despite the airport owners’ best mercantile efforts this is a largely uncovered area and non verbal communication or non verbal stimulation is certainly something I want to understand better, because I think my body language pretty much sucks. Except for beggars. I always attract beggars, though I can’t pinpoint anything specific about me that would make me look generous… Must be airwaves…

Going to send out some airwaves now to little children among the passengers telling them that screaming won’t do them any good. On the train ride here I’ve already managed to silence an annoying whimpering kid just by looking him straight in the eye. Hurray for non verbal communication! And risk free airport alcohol!

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