Why Do I Cry After Sex? Postcoital Dysphoria Explained

The sex was consensual. It felt good. There was no argument. Yet afterwards, someone starts crying, goes quiet or feels an inexplicable wave of sadness. This experience is sometimes called postcoital dysphoria, and it is not limited to women or to unhappy relationships.

In a 2015 study of 230 female university students, 46% reported experiencing these symptoms at least once in their lives. A separate study of men also identified sadness and irritability after otherwise satisfying consensual sex. These studies relied on self-selected or limited samples, so their figures should not be treated as reliable population-wide prevalence estimates. The causes remain incompletely understood.

A difficult feeling afterwards does not automatically mean a partner did something wrong. Equally, recurring distress, pain or trauma-related reactions should not be brushed aside. It can help to talk gently about what happened, allow space and seek support from a qualified clinician if the experience keeps causing distress.

Further reading: Real feelings after sex are often more complicated than what we see depicted. Compare this with women’s reported experiences and preferences around pornography.