Husband: You didn’t slap our neighbour Fred when he said am a drunk and a loser.

Wife: But I did.


Husband: But you didn’t stab him.


Wife: But I did!


Husband: But you let his children live.


Wife: I killed his dog for you!


Husband: A loyal wife who loves her husband would also kill the children.


Wife: I broke all their toys.


Husband: But not their arms and legs.


Wife: I ran over their bikes with our truck.


Husband: You have proven to be a weakling, I think all this proves you want Fred to kill me. Have you been screwing Fred?


Wife: Before or after I stabbed him ten times with a hunting knife for you??


Husband: You could have shot him in the head and you didn’t. You’re a hypocrite and a coward.


Wife: That does it. Am divorcing you if you keep being this ungrateful.


Husband: See? You’ve always hated me. You never once stood up for me. Not even once. Not even one single time!