If the US-Israel relationship was a marriage

Husband: You didn’t slap our neighbour Fred when he said am a drunk and a loser.

Wife: But I did.

Husband: But you didn’t stab him.

Wife: But I did!

Husband: But you let his children live.

Wife: I killed his dog for you!

Husband: A loyal wife who loves her husband would also kill the children.

Wife: I broke all their toys.

Husband: But not their arms and legs.

Wife: I ran over their bikes with our truck.

Husband: You have proven to be a weakling, I think all this proves you want Fred to kill me. Have you been screwing Fred?

Wife: Before or after I stabbed him ten times with a hunting knife for you??

Husband: You could have shot him in the head and you didn’t. You’re a hypocrite and a coward.

Wife: That does it. Am divorcing you if you keep being this ungrateful.

Husband: See? You’ve always hated me. You never once stood up for me. Not even once. Not even one single time!