Ori and Yael are standing in a field and the sky is lighting up. Yael asks: ‘What did we do to deserve this?’ She is stamping her feet and doing 360 degree pirouettes. Ori is at loss what to with her when she is in a state of panic, he’s as lost as when she is in a state of arousal. He says: ‘It’s because we Israelis have superior intellect and the best sense of humor.’
‘Tell me a joke’, she begs.
‘Why?’
‘I really need to feel like we have that sense of humor that makes them send rockets.’
‘Ehm. Am caught off guard here, really, ehm.’
She starts screaming and her pirouettes are spinning faster.
‘Okay, okay, a rabbi and a Catholic priest catch a kid alone in the forest. Ehm..’
‘And then what? Continue, Ori, for God’s sake’s Ori tell me a joke? Give it to me!’
‘Ehm, I don’t remember how it continues. Give me a second. Am also in stress here you know!! Maybe we should run to the shelter.’
‘The shelter? A dance club in Tel Aviv? Why now? Start making sense!!’
‘Not the dance club! A shelter. A bunker. Against the missiles!!’
‘Aaaaah, don’t remind me of the missiles!!’
‘Am sorry, am sorry. Please don’t be scared. I don’t think they are targeting civilians. People are like super sensitive about that right now.’
‘Why?’
‘I don’t know. It’s a trick to hate us more.’
‘For our superior intellect and great sense of humor?’
‘Exactly, exactly.’
‘Maybe we shouldn’t keep standing in this field.’
‘That’s what am saying, let’s go to the shelter.’
‘How can you think of going clubbing now!!’
‘The bunker, Yael, the bunker.’
‘There is no club called the bunker anywhere.’
‘Yael, please, get a grip!’
‘Don’t yell at me!’
‘Am sorry! Am also stressed! If the Iron Dome hits them a piece could break off and hit us.’
‘Aaaaah, why did you have to say that!!!’
‘Listen, I got a joke, I got a joke!’
‘Please, give it to me!!’
‘Ehm, we are under bombs and Netanyahu’s son is drinking Jägerbombs in Florida.’
‘What are Jägerbombs?’
‘Well, when you mix Jägermeister and Red Bull.’
‘I don’t get the joke. That’s like a thing in Florida?’
‘No, I think this drink was invented in California. I can google it if you want.’
‘Nooo, don’t use your phone! It could blow up! Throw it away!!’
‘But it’s not a pager.’
‘When when will it stop?? I want it to stop!!!’
‘Yael, think of those Palestinian girls who’ve been living like this for a year now. Do you see them reacting like this? Imagine if someone were to film us now. How would that make our country look?’
‘I don’t care, I don’t care, I want it to stop! I didn’t even vote for Bibi!’
‘It will be over soon, baby. Just think of happy times. Like when we went to Cyprus and the other guests asked the owner to kick us out and he almost did.’
‘That was a nightmare! They didn’t put ice in the drinks at the all-in buffet!’
‘Sorry for bringing that up! Sorry!!’
‘Why do they hate us? Why do they hate us?’
‘I’ve told you!’
‘Say something clever!’
‘Look, no matter how bad it looks now, tomorrow we will be bombing Beirut, Gaza, Damascus and who knows how many other places.’
‘You promise?’
‘Really, honey, really.’
‘We are smarter than they are, right?’
‘Yes, honey, yes, we are standing in the middle of a field and even then they can’t kill us.’
‘Will you marry me and bomb children with me, Ori?’
‘Yes, Yael, yes, yes, yes, yes.’
‘Oh, now it’s like you asked Iran to light up the sky to make me propose to you.’
‘That is what’s happened today, Yael, that is exactly it.’
‘Ok, now am ready to go dancing and slam down Jägerbombs at The Shelter.’
‘Good girl, good girl, we’re too intelligent and too funny to be worried about some missiles.’