First of all, this will curb your enthusiasm to complain. It will put some pressure on you and tie complaining to the imperative of coming up with a solution.

Second of all… you will come up with solutions.

If you build the reflex to ask yourself: ‘how do I solve this?’ you will notice that your brain comes up with options.

For example.

I have noticed that almost all my friends sit around and wait for me to take initiative. I come up with plans, I make offers, I look for stuff we can do together, I introduce my friends to each other. I notice most of my friends don’t do this. My friends don’t introduce me to their friends and if I don’t come up with an idea for an activity they won’t either.

I invite them to things, they rarely invite me to things.

I could just sit here and complain about that.

I could also ask myself how this can be fixed.

Immediately I come up with the following:

– I could tell my friends that this is how I feel

– It could be that this is because of the way I am, I like to hold the initiative, so if I want this to change, maybe it’s me who needs to change. Maybe I don’t attract people who take the initiative because in the past I wanted to be in charge all the time

– I could look for some new friends

I instantly feel energized, I feel better about the situation and am excited.

It sounds so simple, right?

Cause it is.


Good, what is the solution?