The order of battle in the war against Iran

1. The first wave will consist of anyone who voted for Trump. This will be ‘operation human shield’.

2. Those who own shares in arms dealing companies will be air dropped over Iran wearing pink bunny suits. This to utterly confuse Iranian anti-aircraft batteries.

3. The 18+ kids of any US politician who agrees with military action against Iran will be drafted as mine sweepers

4. Anyone naive enough to think Hillary Clinton would not have sought war with Iran will pretend to have switched sides and aim to be recruited as intelligence officers by Iran

5. Joe Biden will challenge Iranian leaders to do push-ups

6. We will ask the Kurds if they want to be cheated again and rise up against Iran

7. Iranians will be tricked into getting American style health insurance. (yes, this ranks as a war crime but it will make us win easily)