If you see your life as a garden you can easily understand that it needs weeding to thrive. When you weed your garden you don’t think about the weeds, you don’t hate the weeds, you just pull them out of your ground and throw them away, maybe they go into the thrash bin, maybe you burn them, you have no ill feelings towards them and when they are gone you admire the plants you did not weed out, feeling at ease after completing a necessary task.
The same goes for the weeds in your life.
This week I’ve simply unfriended a guy I went to highschool with. He started acting like a building and in a childish way started ridiculing things I post, there was a clear malignancy to his comments. His toxic behavior went on for about a year. The less I reacted the more mocking he became, trying to provoke some sort of reaction, to try and get an ego fix out of a pointless fight with me.
When a good friend disagrees with me they lovingly explain why they think am wrong and I listen, often I even readjust my position. I don’t have the truth. I am a truth seeker and the people who love me respect me as such even when they often disagree with my views. So I did not respond to the bully and just weeded him out. I felt cleaner and lighter having done so.
Other weeds I routinely pull out:
- negative, mocking comments from total strangers venting their own deep personal frustrations by trying to pick a fight with a random stranger ‘daring’ to voice his opinions in public. In many cases negative comments come from people who envy you for being willing to be vulnerable, which they are not. Do you anyone who is well respected who would ever comment on some blog? Of course not. The mere fact that someone reacts to your tweet, your post, your article with ridicule or hatred or condescending remarks must tell you that you are dealing with someone who has no happy life. Happy people have no time to pick silly fights online. So you weed them out and never react or you would just be throwing fertilizer on the weeds.
- commercials in any form
- mainstream news media (corporate propaganda)
- negative people in general, rude, egotistical people
- little tasks that ultimately do not get me anywhere
- people pretending they urgently require me to do something. I run my time, nobody else
- the illusion that something is a life or death situation, almost nothing is so important that I should get all worked up about it
- thinking about other people’s opinion of me. What a waste of time
- alcohol, sigarettes, porn, drugs, sweets, …
- anything that ultimately does not serve love, well-being, collective prosperity is a weed to me
One more thing about not responding to negativity and just weeding it out:
Here’s some Slovak wisdom:
A struck goose will gaggle.
If you react to criticism it must be that you feel hit by it, by reacting you admit that the critic had a point.
So, just choose to react when you feel the commentator is making a valid point and happily weed out the rest.
Trust me, this will do your peace of mind a world of good.
Don’t let your mental garden become a wilderness, YOU decide what gets to grow there.