• From time to time they simply need a Fatfest. Yes, a Bourgondian injection of fat to grease the inner engine. So expect to see a Belgian guy binge on French fries – which should really be named Belgian fries – on a regular basis.
  • If your Belgian guy does not like French fries with lots of sauce and some kind of deep fried meat made up of the garbage of a slaughterhouse or at least some ‘kaaskroket’, if he’s a vegetarian, then you can seriously suspect foreign genes.
  • There are plenty of foreign genes in the Belgian gene pool, so expect to see all hair types. We were pretty much conquered by everyone, except for the Russians, the Chinese and the Mongolians.
  • As opposed to Slavic men, Belgian men tend to keep their hair. You see less bald men in Belgium than in Eastern Europe. In Eastern Europe almost all men seem to lose their hair early in life.
  • This could be because hair loss in men is linked to raised levels of testosterone, and it could very well be that Belgian men have less testosterone than a lot of other cultures
  • Belgian men are more feminine, so slightly more sensitive and far more likely to do some typically female task than men in most other cultures. This doesn’t mean they wash and iron their own clothes, but they are likely to cook, do the dishes, maybe even clean the house once in a while
  • They are usually less car obsessed than men from cultures like Eastern Europe, Turkey…
  • They are a bit more intellectual, but hey, just a bit, and probably just because most men are nitwits, so it’s not hard to do better
  • They are quite reserved and rather timid
  • Among each other they can be very easy going and open
  • They like to provoke each other with quite dirty jokes
  • They like ‘shocking’ dark humor that other cultures would definitely find offensive
  • They’re not patriotic at all
  • On holiday they will try to avoid other Belgian tourists
  • French speaking Belgians are warmer. The most obvious sign of this is that guys from the French speaking parts are likely to kiss each other on the cheek when they meet or part. Imagine Eastern European guys doing this! Flemish guys will go along with this habit, if they have to. Because Flemish guys are very adaptable, they are cultural chameleons, and not particularly defensive about their own culture
  • They are spoilt by mama
  • If you put a Russian army division against a Belgian army division of equal size and equipped with the same weapons, there is no doubt that the Belgians will have the piss kicked out of them. Unless the Russians are caught by one of their typical fatalistic moods and run headlong into the fire of the trembling and safely entrenched Belgians
  • Belgians are like less efficient Germans, with more humor
  • Belgians are just as hedonist as French guys, but with more guilt
  • Belgians are like Dutch people, but with far more neurotic behavior and way more shyness
  • Belgian guys are not especially good in bed, but in the right hands, they can learn, since – see above- they are so adaptable
  • Especially Belgians from the west are workoholics
  • Belgians from Antwerp are definitely arrogant and often obnoxious, with little to show, except that they think they are more stylishly dressed
  • Very tolerant towards anything to do with gays. Hell, we like gays so much we find it quite liberating and funny to pretend to be gay.
  • I suppose it’s because Belgians are above all super pragmatic. More gays means more pussy for us
  • Belgians are not fighting for any ideals, they just want to enjoy their life and not be bothered and they will definitely not bother anyone
  • Except as part of NATO, because if America wants us to bomb anyone, we scramble our aging F-16 squadron (maybe it’s not even a squadron) and we go off and kill some people in foreign lands. Other than that we never bother anyone
  • Except that we killed millions of Congolese, and that was a long time ago
  • We are not openly arrogant, except in Antwerp, but yeah, secretely we do feel we are ahead of everyone in the world. Except the Dutch, we envy the Dutch, so we pretend to dislike them
  • We honestly feel like we beat the German army in two world wars
  • We are rich, and we don’t even know how rich we are
  • We are usually lousy entrepreneurs, we are too timid. Unless it’s a family business with some tradition
  • Getting a divorce is as common as going to a hairdresser, so don’t expect Belgians to fight for their marriage. If they run into trouble, they will probably bail
  • As a father they will likely spoil the children materially and fail to spiritually inspire their offspring. Belgian fathers are highly unlikely to create a truly deep and meaningful bond with their sons or daughters. They will definitely be more critical of sons than of daughters
  • Especially the younger generation likes to go to festivals and to ‘chill’, they are pretty tame people with nothing much to do than enjoy life
  • They shop around for experiences, but often without any real spiritual values or really big goal, so they are rather hedonist. Belgian psychologist Paul Verhaeghe describes it as continually having fun, having to enjoy, but it’s not the safe as being happy
  • They are rather reliable, if they can keep their ego in check they are fun people

This post was requested by Lenuš.

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