When I spot her for the first time I’m blown away. She’s high class. Impeccably dressed. Bright eyes, sharp intellect, smashing smile. Something about her facial structure sends electric jolts up and down my spine. Her attitude shows self-confidence and drive. In all her little actions I can tell: this is not someone you want to mess with, this lady has very high standards. You can tell a lot from a person’s body language, a hell of a lot. She’s a perfectionist, she puts the bar very high for herself, but with a slight hedonistic streak. When I ask her how she would describe herself, she says: ‘beautiful and arrogant.’
Am all wobbly in the knees at this point, I must say.
She says she can’t help it, sometimes she just looks down on people.
I can’t help it either, I fall for highly intelligent women, who are totally feminine, but a tiny bit cruel as well, as long as it’s not pathological. I don’t mind when women are smarter than me, au contraire, and I’m also attracted when they are a hell of lot richer than me, although am not a golddigger at all and prefer to give than to receive. I just fall for women that are intimidating on every level. Looks, intellect and status. That doesn’t mean I have any of those three traits myself, am just saying what I fall for, immediately. I could come up with a theory to explain this strong preference, but that would make this blog post even longer.
Am married, she has a boyfriend, but I want to see more of her and send her long, very flirtatious smsses. In today’s world sending flirtatious smsses is like crossing a busy highway with a blindfold.
I ask her out and she says: ‘I know you’re flirting with me, and am not going to lie, it’s fun, but we can only hang out together, if you don’t see it as dating. Can we agree on that?’
We go out, but I stop flirting. At some point I get the idea that she’s not so happy about that, that she would have liked more flirting.
I take it not one step too far, but a couple of giant leaps too far.
I post something about her on this website. I also use her picture in the post. And I basically say a couple nasty things about her, you know, the sort of thing you could interpret as teasing or as plain inappropriate.
In this case I must say it was downright inappropriate what I wrote… Not only was it offensive, and very silly, what I wrote could also have damaged her career.
My intent is to get the flirting going again, to get her attention.
Oh, and I do get her attention.
One morning I wake up and see I have recieved an sms from her. She threatens legal action, demands me to delete the blog post, and says she never wants to see me again, that I really went way too far this time.
I reread the blog post and suddenly it all hits me, how very wrong all this was. Her picture, a jab about her profession, inappropriate comments, etc. The whole nine wrong hards.
I delete the post immediately. Apologize very clearly. Say that am mad at myself for doing this, that it was a very stupid thing to do.
Then I fall into a stupor of guilt and stare out in front of me on the couch. Why do I do crazy stuff like this? Don’t I have anything better to do than seek attention from someone in the most silly and potentially destructive way (she works in a very sensitive, high profile field where reputation and discretion is everything)?
To my amazement I get an sms from her round noon.
She says: ‘Now that my anger has cooled down, I can say that there are lots of interesting things on your blog, you’re more interesting than most guys I meet’
I tell her that by posting that nasty thing I was doing the equivalent of pulling her hair on the playground, that I instantly liked her when I first saw her, and that unfortunately I had expressed my attraction to her in the silliest way possible, and that am very drawn to her personality and her looks.
The next sms reads: ‘would you like to go for a walk and get some ice cream?’
And we walked around Bratislava for hours and had dinner together the very same day.
What followed next is a story, not of a friendship, certainly not of a relationship, most definitely not of a casual fling, but perhaps of an eternal courtship, with a certain depth to it.
I think I can safely say we get to know each other really well in relatively short time after my stupendous faux pas…
We meet regularly, I enjoy creating all sorts of surprises for her, I write her letters that would be hard to label any other way than as love letters, which we read together, and I admire her, without ever really touching her, I don’t know, she just hits a button without even trying. No, this does not happen often.
At some point she says: ‘If my boyfriend knew what we do, he would beat you up’
Her biggest compliment comes when she texts one day: ‘You are so good to me.’
We no longer live in the same country, so meeting up has become complicated, but I am still particularly fond of her and consider her to be one of the most fully developed personalities I have ever met. I still think the world of her, because she is not really arrogant, she just gets uneasy from watching slackers waste their potential, and I think she categorizes me as one of those slackers. She has very strong values, is very ethical in everything she does, is interested in many different topics, but doesn’t try to shove her opinion down everybody’s throat, and though she’s rather high up on the social hierarchy – she might claim she is not – she wants to lead a simple life. She’s also gorgeous and doesn’t flood the internet with selfies…
If she would be sitting in front of me now, I would be smiling ear to ear, trying to find some way to make her feel good, surprise her, spoil her a bit. There’s probably a whole psychological analysis possible as to why this is, but it’s one of the things that make me feel most alive, giving this lady a good time and treating her like a princess. (Yes, my wife reads my blog, she knows me through and through and that’s why she can accept this rather easily, stuff for a different post yet again.)
At one point this lady I will not name here told me I could have skipped the whole flirting phase, with all the poking fun at her to get her attention, because she knew immediately that I liked her and wanted to talk to her.
If there’s any conclusion to this story: perhaps we should make the whole process of dealing with attraction a whole lot easier by simply stating in clear terms: look, I’m attracted to you, because of this and this that you are and do, and if you’ll allow me, I want to do nice things for you. What label that interaction gets is rather irrelevant as long as both parties experience it as positive.